Daddy Days: A special birthday tradition

We have a tradition in our family on birthdays where the birthday boy (and soon the birthday girl, too) gets to go out with just dad for a burger. There isn’t a whole lot of one-on-one time in our family of nine, so this is a special treat even if that’s partly due to novelty.

The tradition starts at age 3 and those early years are when these traditions really take root and hold the most sway. Dad is still a superhero, the world is full of inexplicable wonder, and a burger out is anything but mundane.

I remember taking the third oldest out when he was 4. His older brothers often wanted to get a burger and then go somewhere (the lake, the creek, the park) to sort of make a picnic of it. However, he wanted to go to the fast-food chain and, “eat inside. At the place.”

So there we were on a dismal January evening, sitting in a booth as the early dusk settled outside on a scene only marginally less dreary than the one I saw inside the restaurant. The 4-year-old sat in wide-eyed wonder quietly looking around and taking in the scene.

I sat in mild impatience, wondering how long it was going to take for the burgers and fries to be done. I saw worn-out workers come and go. I observed a few unhappy couples, some teenagers razzing their friend behind the counter, and a handful of off-duty employees in a variety of official uniforms. I observed few smiles.

After a while our food came and the 4-year-old dug in. A few minutes into dinner he had paused and was looking around at the other people in the restaurant again. I encouraged him to take another bite and he looked at me and said, “it’s all of their birthdays.”

Because to a 4-year-old in his situation that was the logical conclusion. This was such a special thing to be going out for burgers, and this was such a magical place, all the people here must have been having a special birthday dinner, too.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. I said some of the people could be there for birthdays. He looked at me for several moments considering this, and then started munching on his fries again.

It’s easy to think, in childlike ignorance, the kid misread the situation. Certainly all the patrons weren’t there for a birthday burger with their dad. However, there’s an element of gratitude and regard for the ordinary that his evaluation properly brings out and it may be a more true picture than our adult version.

It reminds me of Emily in Thornton Wilder’s play “Our Town,” when she says, “Does any human being ever realize life while they live it. … every, every minute?” The Stage Manager responds, “No. Saints and poets maybe … they do some.”

I’m going to add, “and 4-year-olds.”

Harris and his wife live in Pflugerville with their seven children. Please email comments or suggestions for future columns to thoughtsforcaleb@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Daddy Days: A special birthday tradition