Daddy Days: Thinking of home on the holidays

Caleb Harris
·3 min read
With it being the holidays, there’s currently much homage paid to the family and home, but with very little reflection on what those words mean.
With it being the holidays, there’s currently much homage paid to the family and home, but with very little reflection on what those words mean.

You hear the saying, “Home is where the heart is” but it seems we’ve taken all the heart out of home. A home is not just a house. That sounds trite, but there are entire TV channels that would not exist if the idea that making a house (or apartment or tiny home) look a certain way will magically make it a home.

It would probably be more accurate to say they promise it will feel like home. In a sense that may be true, but for something to feel like home, there needs to be such a thing as home and shouldn’t we be aiming for that and not just a (nice feeling) approximation?

A home is not a hotel. It’s not a place where people drop off their stuff and may or may not spend the night. It’s not somewhere you bump into other people who are just traveling through on their own business. There’s more comfort and unity here. It’s not an airport or a bus depot. It’s the destination to which those places lead.

Home is not a restaurant. No matter how good or bad the home chef is, they’re more than just a cook. After all, more than just food is being shared at the home dinner table. The last few years have produced the trend of having restaurant food brought to your abode. But eating at your house isn’t what makes it a home.

Home is not a movie theater. As mancaves, theaters rooms, she-sheds and game rooms keep getting larger and more conspicuous, households are getting smaller. It’s a strange inverse and one that’s sad to behold. An empty theater is a sad sight because it’s not living up to its purpose. Larger and nicer houses with fewer and fewer occupants are the same.

Home is not an office. You may do work there or work from home, but even that phrase implies work is the addition not the base.

Home can be anywhere, but it definitely is NOT everywhere. Home is where the heart is. Home is family. With it being the holidays, there’s currently much homage paid to the family and home, but with very little reflection on what those words mean.

Home isn’t just the right Febreze air freshener. Family isn’t just a collection of people you know. Instead of spending time and effort trying to capture, simulate or approximate the feeling of home we’d do better to invest in making homes. And that starts with the family. Because home is where your hearts live.

Brandi Carlile, Lori Mckenna and Natalie Nicole Hemby captured it best in their song, "Crowded Table":

I want a house with a crowded tableAnd a place by the fire for everyoneLet us take on the world while we're young and ableAnd bring us back together when the day is done

If we want a gardenWe're gonna have to sow the seedPlant a little happinessLet the roots run deepIf it's love that we giveThen it's love that we reapIf we want a gardenWe're gonna have to sow the seed

I want a house with a crowded tableAnd a place by the fire for everyoneLet us take on the world while we're young and ableAnd bring us back together when the day is doneAnd bring us back together when the day is done

Harris and his wife live in Pflugerville with their seven children. Please email comments or suggestions for future columns to thoughtsforcaleb@gmail.com.

Caleb Harris
Caleb Harris

This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Daddy Days: Thinking of home