Dave Reardon: Saturday's venture to Michigan not a lost cause

Sep. 7—Since you're reading this publication, there's a good chance the football team representing a college near you, or at least your heart, is expected to lose by around 50 points Saturday.

Since you're reading this publication, there's a good chance the football team representing a college near you, or at least your heart, is expected to lose by around 50 points Saturday.

And, sad to say, that might be a generous assessment of Hawaii as it heads to its appointment at fourth-ranked Michigan.

I guess we could call it a game, but that implies fun, and both sides having a decent chance to win. This seems more like an appointment : Show up on time and endure your root canal.

UH has already lost to Vanderbilt 63-10 and Western Kentucky 49-17—both unranked, and both visitors who traveled a long way to play here.

Now, the Warriors hit the road, to appear in front of a crowd more than 10 times as large as the nine thousand and change who can fit in the stands at the Ching Complex.

The last time the Rainbow Warriors went to Michigan was also in early September, and also with a first-time head coach who had starred at quarterback for UH. It was 2016, and the Warriors lost by 60.

If you need a silver lining, Nick Rolovich's team then won seven of its remaining 12, including the Hawaii Bowl.

At this point it's hard to imagine Timmy Chang's debut edition coming anywhere close to that. But after this, the rest of September's games are winnable ones against Duquesne and at New Mexico State.

I had to double-check the score of last week's loss to the Hilltoppers, so I asked Siri. The response included the word "crushed."

That was a bit surprising, since I thought it was some kind of rule that personal assistants—especially those powered by artificial intelligence—keep their opinions to themselves and don't add flavor to facts.

Well, sometimes reality is harsh. Your opponent doesn't "squeak past " you by 32 points. And in cliche-writing school, they teach that Siri's choice is a fair verb when describing a 49-17 result. It's certainly more fitting than something like "edged " or "slipped by."

And when the gap is that wide there's no blaming the refs, the ball being a funny shape and bouncing funny ways, or 18-year-olds doing things their own way despite what they're coached.

If what's expected to happen Saturday does, Hawaii can't even blame its lack of a clear-cut starter behind center. The old quarterback controversy excuse is off the table—because the Wolverines have one of their own.

Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh has felt no need to decide on a QB1 yet, and has said that J.J. McCarthy will start against UH. Cade McNamara started the opener last week, a 51-7 win over Colorado State. There's nothing wrong with McNamara or his performance, Harbaugh said.

Just to make sure this Michigan quarterback uncertainty is not fake news, I went to Siri again.

"I don't have information about the starters. But here is a list of the quarterbacks for Michigan."

Harbaugh—his disdain for depth charts well documented—would love that.

The Wolverines have nine QBs listed, which is two or three more than I've ever seen before on one roster. Two are assigned the same jersey number. (McCarthy and McNamara each have their own ; not even Harbaugh is that crafty.)

What Harbaugh is doing with his quarterbacks isn't that strange, when you consider he's a former NFL head coach. That's where they call preseason games what they are—preseason games.

The only difference from the NFL for the Michigans of the world is you have to win them. I don't know about the other seven QBs, but I'm pretty sure the Wolverines can do that Saturday with either starting contender.

For a program like Michigan, Colorado State and Hawaii are exhibitions—expensive, but still exhibitions.

UH gets a huge chunk of money for this appointment. Not as much as Alabama's Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Bryce Young makes in NIL deals, but enough to pay the first three years of Chang's base salary, with a few thousand to spare.

What else could you get with $1.9 million, other than maybe half of a house in Portlock ?

"I found this on the web, " said Siri, as stories about government spending appeared on my screen.

My personal assistant needs a hearing aid. The American Rescue Plan is $1.9 trillion.

You deserve some hope for getting this far. Just in case anyone forgot, it is possible to escape from The Big House with the money AND the win.

Even Siri remembers the Chaminade-Virginia of college football :

"Appalachian State snuck past Michigan 34-32 on Sept. 1, 2007."

It was a two-point difference where "crushed " would have been appropriate.