Dax Shepard ‘had all kinds of bizarre fears’ about discussing relapse

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David Matthews, New York Daily News
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Dax Shepard said he “had all kinds of bizarre fears” about publicly discussing his relapse and his ongoing addiction struggles.

During an interview on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” Tuesday, Shepard said it took him a long time to decide how forthcoming to be months after he admitted he had relapsed with pain medication after a motorcycle accident.

“Yeah, I did not want to at all,” the 46-year-old “Top Gear America” host said. “I had all kinds of bizarre fears, like I have sponsors on my show, is that something that could cost me money financially?”

Aside from financial concerns, Sherpard was worried people would think less of him.

“I get so much esteem out of being some whose vocally sober and I have people who write me on month one or on week two and I love that, that’s my favorite thing about being in public,” he said. “So I was just terrified I would lose that, I really cherish that.”

A friend told him that telling people he “fell” was actually incredibly valuable because people would know that maintaining sobriety is a constant part of your life.

“If your real goal is to help people, it’s not very helpful that you’re 16 years sober and married to Kristen Bell... so the fact that you just fell, that’s the actual value,” the friend reportedly told Shepard.

During a recent episode of his “Armchair Expert” podcast, Shepard pointed to the unconditional love he received from Bell and co-host Monica Padman for helping his recovery.

“I hated me at that point and so, to be able to tell you guys and feel unconditionally loved and that I would be accepted was really special,” Shepard said. “It saved my life.”