In these days of rudeness, let’s take a page from George Washington’s book on civility | Opinion

Two public examples of unneighborly activity recently have appeared on these Opinion pages.

Editorial board member Toriano Porter told the story of a woman yelling at kids in Blue Springs and calling one an expletive that begins with a b, and another about a fight over a dog between two Independence neighbors that ended in one neighbor kicking the other as he stopped just short of her in his motorized wheelchair. He kicked the dog, too, and both incidents were caught on video.

Civility certainly appears to be unaccounted for these days, whether on our screens on social media or in our communities.

Founding Father George Washington probably would roll his eyes toward the heavens. As a youth of about 14, he wrote a copy of 110 rules under the title, “Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation.” The list, based on a French book of proverbs, was compiled and published with Washington’s name hundreds of years later. Read it yourself on the official Mount Vernon website.

Most of the rules stand the test of time. But to look at what’s happening all over this nation, I’d say we aren’t using them. A lot of us could use a refresher on how to practice common decency, and should peruse a copy.

Rules broken at Capitol in Jefferson City

Reading the short book (the tiny hardcover is only 36 pages), I noticed examples where people today were breaking these vintage directives.

The neighbors mentioned earlier could have heeded rule No. 1:

“Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.”

Missouri legislators have wandered into issues of decency and decorum, criticized for childish behavior and late-night arguments on the floor. In 2022, Republican state Sen. Mike Moon wore overalls on the Senate floor and was chided for it. Last year, Missouri’s House of Representatives tightened its dress code — for women legislators only.

Washington’s list covers that with rule No. 52: “In your apparel be modest and endeavor to accommodate nature rather than to procure admiration.”

I read the book, which was written about the time America was an English colony, to gain some perspective. Sadly, I found little. We still often treat each other poorly and don’t respect each other.

Political hostility, divisiveness a problem

A 2021 survey from Public Agenda/USA Today/Ipsos Hidden Common Ground found that most Americans believe political hostility and divisiveness is a serious problem in the U.S.

The Pew Research Center has studied civil discourse and found that a lot of people have stopped talking to each other about politics, and when they do, they find it stressful.

And, of course, civil discourse is what is at the heart of Kansas City-based American Public Square’s discussion series. I spoke to organizers last year when a controversial panel on gender and identity fell through. It was the first time a panel didn’t go as scheduled.

At that time, I contacted American Public Square at Jewell founder and CEO Allan Katz, and while he recognized the issue was difficult to talk about, he said it’s better to be exposed to opinions that you disagree with.

“It’s that exposure that will help us all better understand the complexities of the issues we face as a nation and, perhaps, find common ground in the process,” he told me.

Trump, Biden could learn from book

What about our nation’s leaders? With presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump fined $9,000 for ignoring the judge’s gag order in his criminal case, Washington’s rule No. 47 comes to mind:

“Mock not nor jest at anything of importance; break no jests that are sharp biting; and if you deliver any thing witty and pleasant, abstain from laughing thereat yourself.”

Trump also could look at rule No. 21: “Reproach none for the infirmities of nature, nor delight to put them that have in mind thereof.”

What about the other presumptive presidential candidate? Joe Biden could review rule No. 48:

“When you reprove another be unblameable yourself, for example is more prevalent than precepts.”

Even table manners matter

Civility can be heavy. But Washington knew how to have a little fun. Rules 90 to 107 have to do with table etiquette. No. 91?

“Make no show of taking great delight in your victuals.”

I’ll be sure to share these with my Star colleagues who write the “Let’s Dish” feature. Who am I to criticize? I wrote about barbecue ribs and I’m sure I broke rule No. 94:

“If you soak your bread in the sauce, let it be no more than what you put in your mouth at a time.”

I suppose it’s a shame we have to go back hundreds of years to learn how to behave decently, but hey, I’ll take it where I can get it. And let us all remember the final rule, No. 110:

“Labour to keep alive in your breast that little celestial fire called conscience.”