Dean LeMire's death at 37 leaves Seacoast and NH recovery communities 'devastated'

DOVER — Seacoast and New Hampshire statewide recovery communities are mourning following the death of Dean LeMire.

LeMire, 37, died Thursday, Sept. 21. He was living in Dover at the time. He leaves two young daughters, Audrey, 9, and Keira, 5, and extended family, including his former wife, Ryan, and a large hole in the hearts of many who knew him.

Ryan LeMire, Dean's former wife and mother of their children, said Friday the family doesn't know the cause of his death. She said she loves to see how talking about Dean's legacy is important to people in the community.

""There is a reason it's called ''unspeakable loss,' for words fail to capture what's in our hearts. A man of tremendous complexity, compassion and love, Dean held his mission and his message with humility, and would deflect the attention he's receiving," a family statement provided by Ryan reads in part.

Ryan LeMire said the statement is from herself, her children, Dean's father, Guy LeMire, and other extended family members.

Dean LeMire's recovery legacy

Dean and Ryan Lemire are credited with cofounding SOS Recovery Services in 2016. At the time of his death, Dean LeMire was the owner and principal of the Lemire Group LLC, a recovery services consulting and training agency based in Dover.

He was instrumental in forming a statewide network of recovery community organizations, and he was a founding board member of the New Hampshire Harm Reduction Coalition and as co-founder of Hand Up Health Services, a syringe services program in Strafford and Rockingham counties. LeMire has trained peer recovery specialists since 2016 and co-developed Recovery Coaching a Harm Reduction Pathway with Jim Wuelfing in 2019.

Wuelfing called his relationship with LeMire "one of the deepest friendships I’ve ever had" and praised him as "one of my greatest teachers."

"We spoke positively about life and the future only two days before he died," Wuelfing said. "I am grief stricken beyond words."

Dean LeMire was also known for advocating for state government support for recovery, including access for safe syringes. Following his death, many people are sharing their personal stories of how he made an impact on their lives.

Recovery leader says Dean LeMire saved her son's life

Kerry Norton is the executive director of Hope on Haven Hill in Rochester. The center offers treatment and living accommodations for women who are pregnant. A second related center, Abi's Place, offers transitional housing for women and their children as they assimilate back into their lives.

Norton was friends with LeMire. She respected his work and she loved him, a relationship that began for a reason that is extremely personal to her. She said he helped save her son Spencer when he was struggling with addiction.

"I am devastated," Norton said of LeMire's death. "Everyone in the recovery community is affected by losing him."

LeMire was her son's sponsor.

"It was in April or May of 2015," Norton said. "Spencer called me. He said, 'I just met my sponsor and he offered me a cup of coffee. He only had almond milk and I have a nut allergy. When I told him, he said 'drink it black.' I don't know why it tasted so good, But maybe because he said; you are getting better; you have hope.'"

Norton recalled her reaction: "I cried and said to someone. My son has hope; he drank a cup of coffee."

Norton said she has no doubt that LeMire saved her son's life, that he helped him recover and move on to have his own family and a better life.

Norton said LeMire was with her as she started Hope on Haven Hill, from the very first fundraiser until she saw him a week ago.

"He was the kindest, most gentle, moving-mountain kind of guy," Norton said. "This loss is huge. He was such an amazing soul. This loss is inconceivably hard."

Dean LeMire had a sponsor, too

Ryan Gagne, director of Live Free Recovery Services, with centers in Manchester and Keene, got his start in Dover. He said he was LeMire's sponsor.

"I have been in personal recovery since 2008," Gagne said. "I started working in treatment around the time Dean entered into recovery work. He started coming to our groups, and I watched him do his steps. He engaged in that process and moved forward. We developed a tight-knit group, and we became friends."

Gagne said LeMire worked with him for a time when he opened Live Free, and then he branched out on his own. He said they always remained friends, always kept in contact.

"I spoke at his wedding," Gagne said. "He has two beautiful daughters. He and Ryan are not together, but they are always amicable, always made their decisions for those girls.

"He entered the harm reduction community and our professional paths always crossed," Gagne said. "He poured himself into his work. I had to remind him that it is important to remember to pour into yourself, that a balance is needed."

Gagne said LeMire always cared, and he always remembered your name, even if he only met you briefly.

"He would turn and see you and there was an immediate great big smile," he said. "He would open his arms wide and draw you in. His intentions were always in the right place, and he pointed people back to the light."

'He was ahead of his time'

In 2018, Portsmouth filmaker Michael Venn released a film called "The Heroin Effect." It is a window into addiction in the Seacoast, showing real people and their recovery efforts. Dean LeMire was heavily featured in the film.

"The news hit me hard when I heard it this morning," Venn said Thursday, "Dean was a kind and compassionate father who was passionate about recovery and helping others. His passing is a great loss to the recovery community."

Palana Belken is the director of operations for the New Hampshire Harm Reduction Coalition.

"Dean was instrumental in the passage of the law expanding syringe access in 2017, and would go on to be a founding member of the New Hampshire Harm Reduction Coalition the following year," Belken said. "And before that, when syringe service programs were still illegal, Dean offered harm reduction services out of his car anyways. He embodied harm reduction and made it what it is in New Hampshire today."

Emmett Soldati said he met LeMire several years ago and knows how important his legacy is to the recovery community. He is working with John Burns, the current director of SOS Recovery, to open a recovery friendly restaurant called Fold'd in Somersworth.

Soldati met LeMire through his work with SOS and Hand Up, a syringe exchange program LeMire started.

"He always worked in harm reduction," Soldati said. "He wanted to save lives, and he did. He was ahead of his time in the work he did, and he was clear in what communities should be doing."

Justin Looser is director of behavioral health for HCA hospitals in New Hampshire, including Portsmouth and Frisbie in Rochester. He praised LeMire's persistent effort.

"When New Hampshire was at the height of the opioid epidemic there were so many people who came out with something to say or who wanted their voices heard, so many of those people slowly faded away over the years, but never Dean," Looser said. "He was always less about words and more about actions and was more committed to helping folks struggling with addiction than most people I’ve ever met, Dean made tangible differences in the lives of so many and was often a voice of realism about addiction that people really needed to hear whether they wanted to or not."

Burns declined to comment for this story. He said he did not feel LeMire would want that.

An online fundraiser to support Dean LeMire's family is accepting donations at gofundme.com/f/dean-lemire.

Statement from family of Dean LeMire

"A man of tremendous complexity, compassion and love, Dean held his mission and his message with humility, and would deflect the attention he's receiving. For him, it was personal, and integral to how he showed up. Carry it forward, let it inspire you to love generously, think deeply, challenge your assumptions and show up with authenticity.

It would be impossible to choose one particular story, quality or memory to describe Dean. He could make a walk to the playground a part of your best day ever. He filled our family with laughter: carving a perfect jack-o-lantern and then wearing it on his head, busting out obscure lyrics with a dance to accompany, sharing a photo of his infant daughter playing under her baby swing − a simple, daily moment captured and then perfectly captioned and narrated as if she was a cynical, deep-thinking auto mechanic tinkering with an engine while waxing poetic on the state of the world. Dean's creativity and humor infused the experience of ordinary moments in a way that made them special. And it was those extraordinary, ordinary moments that he preferred.

His capacity for observation, reflection and empathy empowered the impact of his writing, public speaking, collaboration to bring ideas to fruition and advocacy. It also fueled deep connection − he had the remarkable gift of true witness. Strangers, friends and family all left interactions with Dean feeling as though they were truly seen and valued. This was most apparent in the love and deep friendship between him and Ryan, who share two beautiful daughters. Together, they were confidantes, champions, playmates, guides, seekers and touchstones for each other and within our family. The four of them created a language of love and devotion all its own, beyond the container of words. So many have shared their own stories of Dean's impact. His family is grateful and feels the love, respect and care from every message, kind word, donation, offer of support and expression of collective sadness."

This article originally appeared on Fosters Daily Democrat: Dean LeMire dies, leaving legacy in Seacoast NH recovery community