Will delegates send lieutenant governor choice packing?
Nothing gets our juices flowing like a good contest. Not the athletic kind. We’re no good at those. But simple ones that don’t require too much thought or effort. Like the one that showed up in the email in-box last month, inviting us to name the election winners. Easy-peasy, cake of cheesy we thought, as we scanned the questions. Until we realized most of them pertained to people we’d never heard of. Which is why we always keep our official two-headed bicentennial coin handy. A simple toss is all it takes.
It’s never been known to fail.
So we were cruising like 60 through the options as we made room in our display case for the rare and highly sought after Politicus Smarticus trophy we were sure to win — cuz one thing’s for sure; we ain’t ’toopid — when we spotted the fine print. No media-types allowed. Naturally, we were crushed. Especially when the results came in and we learned we’d gone a perfect 17 for 17. Just not the way we expected. Everybody we’d tapped to win had gotten waxed by their opponents. Leaving us stuck with a trophy that was far less desirable.
Identifying us as Ignoramuses Extraordinairuses.
It turns out picking the right names isn’t as easy as it’s cracked up to be. It’s just like Christmas. That most wonderful time of the year when you always get Aunt Hortense in the annual family gift exchange drawing, and there’s nothing she’ll be happy receiving because she’s been in a rotten mood ever since losing that bet in 1492 about Columbus sailing over the edge of the earth.
Yeah, she’s really been around that long.
But that’s nothing compared to what happened in the run-up to this month’s state party conventions. Once upon a time, these conclaves where lucky delegates earned golden tickets to the main event were a lot like high school pep rallies. The party faithful got together, told each other how the other side was in for a whoopin’ come Election Day, and then sent the chosen ones off to the state confab. Not anymore. Today a large percentage of those gatherings resemble a cross between a Hulk Hogan/King Kong Bundy steel cage grudge match and the annual Hatfields and McCoys reunion.
Which are always scheduled smack dab in the middle of Tom Lehrer’s National Brotherhood Week.
Party unity generally goes out the window when personalities and ideologies shift the focus to party purity instead. For there’s no room at the inn for RINOs or DINOs — you may not know what they are, but those who count do — because everyone knows you can’t be a Republican — or a Democrat — unless you check all the boxes. And what those boxes look like depends on which party faction is in power. If you’re not careful, you might wake up one morning to find the folks you thought were your friends had just rebranded you a commie. But Bugs Bunny-style name-calling, beard-pulling hijinks like that are just inside baseball, right?
Guess again.
Despite having the power to call the shots, delegates have never given a gubernatorial nominee’s lieutenant governor pick the heave-ho. Yet new polling shows 54% ready to oust GOP standard-bearer Tudor Dixon’s choice of Shane Hernandez on this weekend’s first ballot. And while Onsted native Garrett Soldano — who finished third in the Republican primary — ultimately decided not to contest Dixon’s choice, could this still be the year the convention gets thrown into upheaval? Don’t look at us for the answer.
There’s no way we’re risking our perfect record — or our trophy — on a prediction like that.
Talk Back with Doug Spade and Mike Clement is heard every Saturday morning from 9 a.m. to noon Eastern Time on Buzz 102.5 FM and online at www.dougspade.com and www.lenconnect.com.
This article originally appeared on The Daily Telegram: Talk Back: Will delegates send lieutenant governor choice packing?
