Detroit mom learned how to 'see into the future' at St. Patrick Senior Center

Scott Talley, Detroit Free Press
·8 min read

Even when Tina Skinner was making the honor roll at Guyton Elementary, Remus Robinson Middle School and Southeastern High School (Class of 1999), she displayed a “motherly instinct.”

As the native Detroiter tells it, whenever there was any threat of negative consequences attached to an activity that she and her friends were involved in, Skinner’s voice could always be heard through the crowd: "You know, we really shouldn’t be doing this.” And with those magic words, Skinner always managed to keep everyone away from harm without losing a single friendship in the process.

However, Skinner says she didn't begin to truly understand the things that matter most in life, including what the full scope of motherhood entailed, until she found herself with a new group of friends years later and about 4½ miles away from where she attended high school. But before she could soak up the knowledge, Skinner had to literally find a way to keep pace with the crowd.

Dorothy Moses, 78, left, looks at her cards for her next move in the game of Tonk she was playing with Tina Skinner of the St. Patrick Senior Center in Detroit and her friend Jeff Miller, 66, of Detroit, on Wednesday, May 10, 2023. Skinner spends much of her day at the center going up and down three floors checking in on seniors, helping out, giving advice and giving them someone to talk to about their problems or issues they are dealing with.

“I was trying to keep up, and I was just amazed by how much more energy they had than me, and I was this 28-year-old,” Skinner said as she described an encounter on the Detroit RiverWalk with a group of senior citizens from Detroit’s St. Patrick Senior Center. “I used to tell people that they (seniors) have way more energy than I do.”

Skinner, who, at the time, was accompanying a walking group as part of her duties as a medical assistant extern assigned to St. Patrick Senior Center, soon discovered that the physical energy the group’s members displayed was just a small part of what she would absorb through the connection.

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“From the very beginning, 14 years ago, I befriended a lot of seniors and they made me a different person,” said Skinner, who joked on Wednesday that she still can't keep up with some of the members from that first walking group. “I’ve grown with St. Pat's and all of my blessings have come from being here. The seniors have pushed me and I have leaned on them, and I learned trust. They also taught me that I could be a leader.”

The now 42-year-old Skinner, who immediately made an impression as an extern by volunteering to work in every department she came across at St. Patrick Senior Center until she knew all of the duties like the “back of her hand,” has become a fixture at Detroit’s largest health, wellness and activities center for older adults, where she continues to perform multiple roles. In fact, the nonprofit’s online directory requires a couple of slashes to separate Skinner’s duties in the Finance and Human Resources departments, along with her being a Michigan Medicare Medicaid Assistance Program counselor. But as Skinner spoke Wednesday from St. Pat's about some of things she had done during the week that brought her joy, it became apparent that the online personnel directory barely scratches the surface about all that Skinner does outside of her job description. With pride, she described tours of St. Pat’s stately building at 58 Parsons St. (off Woodward, behind Orchestra Hall) that she has recently given to new members; tickets she has handed out to seniors so that they could receive St. Pat’s famous made-from-scratch, hearty lunches; and the special plants she is growing in the arts and crafts room with two of the center’s members and fellow “plant whisperers” — Dorothy McIntosh and Laverne Lucas.

Tina Skinner of the St. Patrick Senior Center in Detroit, left, on Wednesday, May 10, 2023. Besides working with seniors on the care of various plants, Skinner spends much of her day at the center going up and down three floors checking in on seniors, helping out, giving advice and giving them someone to talk to about their problems or issues they are dealing with.

And like the plants Skinner is growing, including pothos, fiddle-leaf fig and aloe vera, which she will sell at the May 21 Irish Festival fundraiser for the center, Skinner credits the seniors she has bonded with for helping her to grow as a mother. To explain this, Skinner reveals a superpower she has acquired during the past 14 years.

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“I used to tell people that I can see into the future because of the seniors I have listened to who have talked about their regrets,” Skinner explained. She is the super proud mom of two professionally employed daughters, Ikiaira (22) and Jamae (21) Hughes; a second-year student at Central Michigan University, Autumn Hughes (19); a ninth-grader at University Preparatory Academy High School, Jamaal Hughes (15), and a third-grader at Detroit Academy of Arts and Sciences, Avan Peterson (9).

“One senior told me that he wished that he had grandchildren knocking at his door, but that he didn’t have that kind of relationship with his son," she solemnly recalled. "Who wants to have that kind of regret? That’s why I don’t even leave the room without telling my kids I love them, and they do the same.

"God has really blessed me with five beautiful kids," says Tina Skinner, far left,, who is joined by her children in this photo near Detroit's riverfront. From left, next to Tina Skinner, are Autumn Hughes, Jamae Hughes, Jamaal Hughes, Kiaira Hughes and Avan Peterson. Tina Skinner says she learned to value time with her family even more after the joining the staff at the St. Patrick Senior Center.

“The seniors have taught me so much: How to love, how to be patient, how to value my time with my family and how to enjoy life. A lot of people who don’t interact with seniors on a daily basis miss out on those lessons.”

Skinner says her relationships with seniors also have inspired her to engage in activities beyond her job that uplift her community, including at Detroit Academy of Arts and Sciences, where she is a past “Parent of the Month” for her support of a student council fundraiser, and through a program called “Empowering Our Youth,” which she created because “some kids don’t have an adult at home to speak with.”

When describing “Empowering Our Youth,” which exposes youths to positive speakers from the community representing a broad range of life experiences through programs presented at St. Pat's, Skinner talks about a “freestyle,” unscripted approach, where her only objective is to expose the young participants to the same kind of encouragement and support she has received since becoming a part of the St. Pat family.

While “freestyle” may describe Skinner some of the time, she confessed that she planned to take a slightly different approach for Mother’s Day weekend.

If things go as planned, Skinner’s “great weekend” will include enjoying some of her favorite foods with other mothers on Saturday, including brunch at Bobcat Bonnie’s on Michigan Avenue (chicken and waffles) and dinner at Fishbones in Greektown (spicy wings, alligator and gumbo). In between meals, Skinner would like to round up as many of her children as possible by the Detroit riverfront for bike riding. And Sunday’s planned slate includes services at Second Ebenezer Church, where she will sit with a row of seniors who are not members of St. Pat, and finally a gathering with family at Skinner’s home in Detroit’s Woodbridge neighborhood. It’s the type of weekend that Skinner hopes all Detroit moms will experience in their own way.

Tina Skinner, of the St. Patrick Senior Center in Detroit, left, talks with and helps out Marsha Hinkle on adding contacts into her iPhone at the center on Wednesday, May 10, 2023. Skinner spends much of her day at the center going up and down three floors checking in on seniors and giving them someone to talk to about their problems or issues they are dealing with.

“I want all the mothers to feel love,” Skinner said. “I don’t care if you sit in your garden and watch a tomato grow; feel love, relax and just enjoy your day.”

And after Skinner’s planned flurry of Mother’s Day weekend activities, she already knows exactly where she will be Monday morning. And she said she wouldn't have it any other way.

“I’ll be the first person here (at St. Pat's) on Monday morning, ready to go, no excuses. And Kathy (a St. Pat's member) will meet me at the door,” Skinner said in a resolute, yet playful tone, with just a little edge to it — much like her. “They all know I’m going to be here. It’s not that I have it in my head that I have to be the first here, but it’s just something that I’m used to doing.

"This is where I get my energy from — this is my life. Don’t get it wrong, I have my time with my children, too, and it’s equal. But I just enjoy it here because the seniors are my family — they’re our family.”

Answering the call to help older adults in Detroit

What: St. Patrick Senior Center, 58 Parsons St. (off Woodward, behind Orchestra Hall.

Then and now: Founded by Sister Mary Watson in 1973 to serve the needy seniors of Detroit’s Cass Corridor, St. Patrick Senior Center has evolved into the city’s largest health, wellness and activities center for older adults. Today, St. Pat's provides daily meals, in-person and online wellness programs, transportation services, benefits assistance, in-home caregiving and assistance, digital training and activities ranging from dance classes to a book club and more.

Upcoming event: The 46th annual St. Patrick Senior Center Irish Festival, Sunday, May 21, 1 p.m.-8 p.m., at St. Patrick Senior Center. The cost is $5 for adults and $1 for children. There will be free parking. This Midtown Detroit tradition, with activities inside and outside the center, will feature singers, dancers and instrumentalists on three stages; food and drinks, family fun, raffles and more. All proceeds benefit the St. Patrick Senior Center.

More information: Go to www.stpatsrctr.org.

This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Detroit mom learns from St. Patrick Senior Center members