Did Maya Angelou Say, 'Never Make Someone a Priority When All You Are to Them Is an Option'?

Claim:

Celebrated poet and author Maya Angelou once said, "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."

Rating:

In June 2023, we looked for evidence to confirm that celebrated author and poet Maya Angelou had once said or written the words, "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."

This advice certainly sounded like something that Angelou might have once said to Oprah Winfrey on her show, for example. The question here wasn't if she'd agree with the quote, but rather if the words truly originated from her.

In the past, this quote had appeared on numerous websites that claim to collect sayings and writings from famous people. However, we've found over the years that websites like these can often be unreliable, and we do not recommend utilizing them for research as trusted sources.

The quote in question was also published with Angelou's name by both the BBC and The Guardian on the day of her death in 2014. Still, despite being cited by these two credible news sources, we have thus far been unable to find any evidence that would shed light on the origins of the quote. If Angelou said it or wrote it, when and where was this originally documented?

According to Google, the oldest online post with the "never make someone a priority" quote appeared to be in a message board comment from December 2005. The post did not credit anyone by name.

The first printed work to feature the quote with Angelou's name appeared to be a 2008 book titled, "For Love Alone," which was written by an author simply known as Sabdale. In the book, the author wrote, "But I should have heeded what Maya Angelou once said, 'Never make someone a priority in your life, when to that someone you are an option.'"

According to Newspapers.com, a website that has made available online the contents of more than 871 million pages of over 24,000 historical newspapers from around the world, the five words "never make someone a priority" didn't appear in any of those newspapers until July 22, 2009, when it was simply credited with the words, "Someone once said."

As for Twitter, the first tweet with the words from the quote was posted in March 2007. No one was credited by name.

It wasn't until June 2010 that the first tweet appeared containing both the quote and Angelou's name. According to a number of manual retweets, an old account named @iheartquotes had tweeted, "'Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.' ~Maya Angelou." As of 2023, the @iheartquotes account was no longer available.

In our research, we noted that the quote in question had never been tweeted on Angelou's former official Twitter presence, @DrMayaAngelou, an account that appeared to be managed by her estate.

We reached out to her estate to ask about the quote and will update this story if we learn more. We also invite readers to email us with details. We're mainly looking for credible data that would help confirm that Angelou once said or wrote the quote, and when and where that occurred. In other words, links to quote-collecting websites and Pinterest memes won't do us much good.

Sources:

dreamer22. "Message: 'Gabriel vs Gabrielle.'" Behind the Name, 22 Dec. 2005, https://www.behindthename.com/bb/baby/393523.

Laub, Krystle, and Erin Outerbridge. "Chatterbox: Don't Let Yourself Be a Pawn." Waldwick Suburban News via Newspapers.Com, 22 July 2009, p. A28, https://www.newspapers.com/image/666664529/.

"Maya Angelou: In Her Own Words." BBC News, 28 May 2014, https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-27610770.

"Maya Angelou Quotes: 15 of the Best." The Guardian, 29 May 2014, https://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/may/28/maya-angelou-in-fifteen-quotes.

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