Different Drum: Accidentally sucked into cleaning the fridge
I am not a neat freak. I will never be. Life is too short for that kind of thing. Sure, like the rest of us, I have certain pockets of obsessive compulsive behavior that can’t stand certain states of disorder (i.e. dirty dishes left undone in the sink), but overall, I can let things slide until I have adequate time to deal with them.
That’s why I know it was completely by accident the other night that I found myself cleaning out my refrigerator. Nothing foreshadowed that act of inspired clean-up that suddenly showed up on my early Sunday evening agenda. I feel I must officially proclaim this, lest someone think I’ve championed any aspect of OCD cleaning of the “out, damned spot” variety — except for the results, which stand on their own merits: Exhibit A: a clean fridge.
It started out innocently enough: I’d just returned home after having grocery-shopped at four different stores as part of my ongoing quest to secure commonplace products that have post-pandemic have remained mysteriously absent from retail store shelves. All I could think about was refrigerating the ricotta cheese I had finally found to stuff the manicotti tubes it had taken weeks to secure.
But alas, the opening of my refrigerator door yielded more problems than it was supposed to resolve. It figures! I was immediately confronted and confounded with the reality of having no room to refrigerate what I’d just purchased. Sitting at the front of the top shelf was a half-consumed half-gallon of chocolate milk four days past its expiration date. In addition to its potential toxicity, the container’s height successfully blocked my ability to see what was behind it, a major no-no in refrigerator organizing circles!
When I removed the offending half-gallon container from the shelf, my no-longer-obscured-vision gazed upon a clear plastic tub of unnatural-colored humus that had been hiding in its shadows. It also clearly needed tossing; however, I was unable to pick it up due to an unidentified sticky substance adhering it to the top shelf.
That had to be the sticky ooze from the small, overturned Rubbermaid container of leftover caramel apple salad that fell off the jar of minced garlic that was precariously perched behind a now fizz-less bottle of Canada Dry cranberry ginger ale and a half-container of whipped topping. Yup. Once fresh, but now shriveled blueberries my daughter had spilled dotted the landscape. C’mon, man!
Guess I missed National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day on Nov. 15! Normally I make a diligent fridge cleaning effort just before the holidays, but I’d been pretty ill at that point this year, so a lot of things went by the wayside. And my kids are notorious for turning a blind eye toward such dirty jobs!
None of my causal insights to the refrigerator mayhem made things any more organized or less sticky. I pried up the tub of hummus with a pie server and tossed the soggy contents of the caramel apple salad container along with it. Then I had to put a warm, wet dishcloth over the sticky spots to erode their adhesive properties so I could wash off the shelf top. I was still wearing my winter coat as I performed these refrigerator exorcisms.
Next, I checked the cheese drawer, found in relatively good condition save some Muenster slices gravitating toward the dark side. Nearby were two 32-ounce bags of Mexican cheese — both open and one not re-sealed by my son! Grrr. To their right was a partially-opened, now oddly solidified, soap-like block of former berry-flavored cream cheese looking grossly cool.
Eventually I got to the bottom shelf, with its left side catch-all area where my produce likes to go to die. To the right were two disgusting, abandoned Styrofoam take-out containers that I told to beat it. Honestly!
I don’t think Marie Kondo deploys her KonMari system of de-cluttering specifically on refrigerators, but I found myself engaging in a less delicate method of re-organization (which I didn’t pioneer) called “heave-ho.” None of my fridge stuff was sparking joy. In fact, there was no joy in Mudville the whole cleaning session. But it did register strongly that even an accidental refrigerator cleaning beats none.
— Kristy Smith’s Different Drum humor columns are archived at her blog: diffdrum.wordpress.com.
This article originally appeared on Sturgis Journal: Different Drum: Accidentally sucked into cleaning the fridge
