A Different Drum: Being open to the wisdom of product reviews
If you had to reduce the Internet to but one redeeming function, for me it would be reviews. I thoroughly enjoy reading what other people think. Whether it’s a review of a restaurant, movie, performer, vehicle or household appliance, an insightful review of something or someone can broaden my perspective and get me thinking differently.
That said, there are certain feedback forums I disregard because when they are done perfunctorily and you can’t trust a word of them! Think online auction sites, such as eBay, where the purchasers of goods are hounded incessantly afterward until they cough up some feedback about the transaction. Coughing is a good metaphor, because the reviews coughed up are as slimy as phlegm, trite at their best and disingenuous at their worst. Meaningless drivel.
Even less meaningful reviews are when the mechanic who worked on your car tells you to answer survey questions about the repair and how you felt about it, then insinuates that any question answered with less than a “10” (on a scale of 1-10) will result in his being over-scrutinized and micromanaged by the “powers that be”, which will ultimately result in his losing his job. No customer guilt or pressure there!
Not only does that kind of introduction to a customer survey invalidate the results, but it’s pretty creepy and unfortunately has become increasingly popular. In the alternative, I’ve had service people say something along the lines of, “Look, I don’t want to have to ask you to take this stupid survey any more than you want to take it (which earns him/her a few bonus points for honesty), but I would appreciate you giving me the highest possible score so I can continue to work here and feed my family.” Yikes!
Another of my least favorite reviews to be asked to respond to is what I have mentally termed the “Much Ado About Nothing” review. It involves spending 10 minutes answering questions about an under-five-minute experience.
Granted, those five minutes with someone who is viewed as the face of the company has (at least in theory) the power to influence your future relationship with it; however, when I was at the healthcare facility due to breathing issues, I didn’t actually study the behavior of the employees sanitizing the bathroom or delivering my meals long enough to be able to fairly evaluate him/her.
One of my most traumatic experiences with this kind of review was when the dealership where I leased a previous car sent me no fewer than six requests to evaluate my “oil change experience.” My what?! More like their load of crap. Their insistence on my customer service response amounted to customer harassment.
A more humorous example of a Much Ado About Nothing requested review was when an online office supply store asked me to rate the toilet paper my workplace had purchased from them and to state what I liked about their product. At least I had fun with that one!
When it comes to considering products that cost considerably more than the toilet paper, I take reviews more seriously. I don’t subscribe to Consumer Reports, but sometimes pick up a copy for the low down on high-priced items. Online, I’ve noticed reviews typically range on a scale of 1-5. I typically read the 5’s, then 1’s, then 3’s reviews.
Our family is in the market for an outdoor, puppy-proof kennel. I have my own mental review of the kennel I previously owned, but am relying on reviews by strangers, as none of my dog-lover friends own a kennel like the one I want.
As predicted, the reviews are polarized. Either the kennel is beyond perfect (5-star rating) or it’s demonized (1-star rating). Within the 3-star ratings, “middle ground truth” is located, steering me away from a regrettable purchase:
“My husband is a retired contractor who has built entire homes and office buildings from the ground up, and this took him 3+ hours to assemble due to misaligned pieces ... I can't imagine that this would even be do-able for someone without construction experience AND the right tools.”
At last, some documented honesty that will save me time and money. Thanks, reviewer!
— Kristy Smith’s Different Drum humor columns are archived at her blog: diffdrum.wordpress.com.
This article originally appeared on Sturgis Journal: A Different Drum: Being open to the wisdom of product reviews
