Doc's Morning Line: How do we handle Joe Burrow making Cincinnati cool?

Sports Illustrated is putting Joe Burrow on its preseason NFL cover. The Saint is already bad and nationwide. Now he’s dragging the rest of us along with him.

We’re cool. Cincinnati is cool.

How are we supposed to handle this?

Our little Republic is accomplished at the modesty thing. We can take compliments, but they make us nervous. Thanks. What do you want?

We’re decent at defending ourselves from attacks by outsiders – we’ve had a lot of practice – but when we’re beset with praise, well, it makes us a bit itchy. And this praise originated in a building in. . . New York. Manhattan, no less.

This is part of what my pal Bengal Boy calls the Men’s Transformational Decade. There was a time, not long ago, when the only players of free will who chose to play football for money here were guys wanting one more pot of gold before the rainbow died.

If you signed with the Bengals, you already had nine toes dunked in the retirement pool. Even Marvin Lewis, whose good work here set the table for what’s happening now, didn’t exactly woo top tier players. Pac-Man Jones was close. The Bengals never had a transcendent, Reggie White-to-Green Bay-like signing.

The power of Burrow’s personality/charisma whatever you want to call it is changing that. Now, seemingly the only limit on the Bengals ability to attract top talent is their willingness to pay for it. They had no problem this offseason patching the O-line with capable veterans. They didn’t land arguably the biggest whale – five-time Pro Bowl guard Brandon Scherff – but did sign three guys who will start right away.

Zac’s Culture Club rocks on, now immortalized on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Now, then. . .

INTERESTING CHAT WITH UC AD John Cunningham Monday, after his press conference discussing the Bearcats accelerated move to the Big 12. I’ve never before quoted Dickens to describe UC sports, but. . . these are the best of times, these are the worst of times to be engaged with UC athletics.

How can it not be the best when Big 12 membership will bring in buckets of money the likes of which UC has never seen? An estimated $18 mil in TV money in ’23 and ’24. Then, when UC is granted full membership in ’25, somewhere between $40-$50 mil annually. In the AAC, UC’s take was $7 mil a year.

Howevuh, to whom much is given, much is expected. The cost of doing business just went way up, too. Facilities need upgrading. And there is that pesky expectation from players now. They expect to be paid. And not just running money for the weekend.

Cunningham said UC athletic supporters last year paid out more than $1 million in NIL money, while striking more than 200 deals with local businesses. That’s great, until you realize that a rising high school senior QB apparently has signed an $8 million NIL deal to play at Tennessee. We say apparently because no official announcement has been made.

Even if the deal is not for $8 mil, it speaks to the potential dollars needed to attract mega-top talent. And UC is entering a league with Texas, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and Baylor. No shortage of “awl bidness’’ bucks there. Is UC prepared to go wallet-to-wallet with Texas?

Cunningham says UC and its boosters need to be on their games. “It feels like pay for play,’’ he said. Well, yeah. “We know we have to step up.’’

UC has launched its Day One campaign, with the goal to raise $100 million over four years. That’s ambitious. And given the asks in recent years already laid on donors, seeking another $100 mil is a bit beyond reasonable.

DOES IT SEEM TO YOU that we don’t just have rain now, but rather Biblical storms every couple weeks? I’m watching the wind bend the pin oaks and shagbark hickories in my back yard last night and I don’t know whether to hide in the basement or call Auntie Em.

OUCH. . . FIFA’s long-awaited (for some) announcement of which US cities will host World Cup matches in 2026 will come Thursday at 5 p.m., live on FS1. Don’t get your hopes up, Cincinnati. Of 16 cities considered for 10 spots, Yahoo! ranks us. . . 16th:

16. Cincinnati (Paul Brown Stadium)

With all due respect to Cincinnati, whose training facilities have twice lured the USMNT, it probably shouldn’t even be in this conversation.

Well, that’s a little harsh. Nashville is given an outside chance and we’re not? Music City has an unsettled stadium situation and isn’t exactly a futbol mecca. Certainly its fan base is no more engaged than Cincinnati's. Plus, Nashville is closer to Atlanta, which is all but guaranteed a spot in the Top 10. Other than KC, the Midwest is not represented. No Chicago, no Indy, not even Detroit.

Yahoo! says being snubbed does have its perks.

The half-dozen cities that aren’t selected on Thursday, plus others who weren’t even finalists, could host ancillary events, team base camps and pre-World Cup friendlies. North American officials also proposed “pop-up fan fests” — tamer versions of the official fan hubs that FIFA sets up in each host city — in cities that don’t stage matches.

Pop-up fanfests! In other words, FIFA doesn’t like us, but will happily take our cash. Where do we sign up?

WONDER WHAT KIND OF ODDS YOU’D GET picking Phil Mickelson to win the US Open that begins Thursday in Boston?

He’ll be 52 this week, hasn’t played in four months and since winning the PGA last year hasn’t finished top-10 in any of the 12 events he has entered.

And there is the little deal about joining the Saudi golf league.

Nice knowin’ ya, big guy. Thanks for the memories. It was a blast watching you play.

DOC BORES US WITH MEMORY LANE TALK, BUT IT IS HIS BLOG. . . First Open I ever covered was at Shinnecock Hills in the Hamptons in 1986. Ray Floyd won. First Open I covered while working here was in ’88. . . at Brookline, where they’re playing this week’s Open. Curtis Strange won. He’d win again the next year, at Oak Hill in Rochester, NY. They housed the media in a college dormitory there. Long time ago.

Other notables: Arnie’s last Open, Oakmont, 1994. Tiger’s annihilation of the field, Pebble, 2000. Fans serenading Phil with Happy Birthday, Bethpage, 2002.

Best Opens I covered were at Pinehurst (twice) and Pebble Beach (twice more). The year Payne Stewart edged Mickelson in 1999 at Pinehurst was my favorite. If you play golf and love golf, do not miss a chance to go to Pinehurst. There’s nothing to do there but play golf, smoke cigars, drink bourbon and rock on rocking chairs. Heaven, in other words.

That said, the Open will never be the Masters. The course set-ups assure that. The USGA is more interested in torturing players than encouraging their boldness and creativity. The sanctity of par is their goal.

THIS IS WHY you have to be insane or hate money if you sign a starting pitcher to a long-term contract:

Washington Nationals right-hander Stephen Strasburg is headed back to the injured list after feeling discomfort following a bullpen session. Strasburg has made one start this season, his first since he had surgery for thoracic outlet syndrome last summer.

Strasburg, the 2019 World Series MVP, signed a seven-year, $245 million contract to remain with the Nationals after their championship season. He has made eight starts since, going 1-4 with a 6.89 ERA in those games. (AP)

AND FINALLY. . . It’s Graduation Day, and with it, some sound advice spoken to grads by people who have lived longer than they have and know more than they do. My hands-down favorite graduation speech never got delivered.

Anna Quindlen, author, former NYTimes columnist, personal hero of mine, was supposed to address the Villanova Class of 2000. Protests by students not fond of Quindlen’s liberal bent did her in. She mailed the speech to a graduating student instead. It got made into a little book, one which I strongly urge you to buy and read many millions of times. It’s called A Short Guide to a Happy Life, and it is pure truth. Here’s an excerpt that chokes me up, every time:

Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas making fuchsia star bursts in spring; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is glorious, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take the money you would have spent on beers in a bar and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Tutor a seventh-grader.

All of us want to do well. But if we do not do good, too, then doing well will never be enough.

Do good.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . All praise to Joe Burrow.

This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: Joe Burrow on Sports Illustrated cover makes Cincinnati Bengals cool