Does every party require a host gift or is your presence present enough?
QUESTION: Should I take a gift for the host to every party I attend during the holidays? Last year I noticed that many people brought along a bottle of wine or festive package, but I did not. Do people giving the party expect this lovely gesture every time?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: No, the host isn't expecting to receive a gift for the party. That being said, it is a very lovely gesture if you can remember.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: It’s a fun way to thank your host for his or her effort in throwing the party. I was always taught to not go empty handed for something like a private party, but whatever you bring can be small and doesn’t have to cost a lot. (If it’s a wedding or baby shower, you’re still not going empty handed but the recipient is the honoree and not the host.) However, if you don’t have a gift in hand, that is OK, too. Just write them a note later or call to thank them for a lovely event. However you do it, be sure to thank the host somehow, at least with a note.
HELEN’S ANSWER: A sincere thank-you, a thank-you card or a small hostess gift can be taken to all parties. The hosts are happy to receive you at their gathering most of all, so anything else is extra! During the holidays, it is always appropriate to bring a small Christmas ornament for the host. You also can arrive at the event without bringing anything. Cost and time contribute to the factors involved with party host gifting.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Devonne Carter, a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Betty Lou's Flowers and Gifts in Norman: It is always nice to take a gift when invited to someone's house for a party or holiday event. I would encourage it every time, but here is the caveat: the gift is about thanking the hostess, not about how much you spend or how large the gift is.
Wine has been a standard gift in movies and on TV shows. The problem with wine is some people might be alcohol-free, so wine is a very personal gift. You sure don't want to take alcohol into a home where they might be battling addictions. If you don't know the hostess well, I would encourage you to stay away from alcohol. Flowers are always a wonderful universal gift, and they can be a large gift or a very small gift. Since it is the Christmas season, there are so many affordable gifts readily available, for example: tree ornaments or a dreidel for your Jewish friends.
If you are a baker, or have a favorite bakery, consumable gifts are wonderful, since we all have too much STUFF these days! Of course if you like to craft, a homemade gift is always special, but if that isn't your thing, then look around and you will find all sorts of gift ideas! Remember: It is the thought that counts!
Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20-plus; Lillie-Beth is 40-plus and Helen is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.
This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: Reader asks if gifts for holiday party hosts are required
