Does size really matter?
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I am very much an extrovert and most of the time enjoy small talk. Small talk is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “Polite conversation about subjects that are ordinary or unimportant, especially at social occasions.” For the introvert small talk can be excruciatingly painful and may even cause anxiety.
Personally, I feel that we live in a world of reduced human interaction thanks to our phones. People would rather stare and scroll through social media rather than chat with another human being. Some people, like the Brits, will go to extremes to avoid any small talk, but culturally Americans do participate more in small talk more than others.
I have found that small talk differs even within the United States. Having grown up in the South, I found that small talk is just part of life, from the weather to sports, but small talk in NYC Is a completely different story and even El Paso, for that matter.
While I was walking with my younger cousin in Manhattan, he told me not to say hello to any individuals we passed on the street. Lately, I have noticed that some younger individuals are inept at small talk, but then some young cowboy will come to help us on the ranch and have a beautiful gift of gab, proving me wrong in writing such a generalization.
When I was growing up, I saw that my mother believed it was one of her life’s purposes to provide humor and smiles to people when she was running her errands. Even if she was laughing at herself, she wanted to make people smile with her small talk. I remember the embarrassment and horror I experienced when she was showing her belly dancing moves to a friend in the grocery store, telling them she didn’t know if she had injured her neck doing yoga, horseback riding, or belly dancing.
Learning to make small talk in social situations is important because almost everything in life starts with a conversation. While talking to a clerk is different from talking with someone in a social situation, there are are a few important reasons not to dismiss small talk. Most of these reasons worked for me when I was trying to buy a fuse (and there are a lot to choose from) for the well on the ranch. I struck up a conversation with another customer in the electrical section of Home Depot. Because of the “small talk” I was able to purchase the correct fuse.
No matter how random the interaction, whether it’s at the local coffee shop or anywhere else, small talk can help you in your everyday life. Some tips to using small talk are show a genuine interest, ask questions, and listen. Practice.
Some studies indicate people are happier when they talk to others. Small talk somehow can boost your mood and reduce stress, and I know that is very true for both my mother and me. Human connections are the icing on the cake and offer a plethora of benefits.
Small talk can work these wonders:
Establish trust though the topic of the talk might be immaterial
Lay groundwork for specific requests
Yield important information
Get you out of a jam
Convey warmth and affection
Boost your mood
Make another person’s day
Hmm….now that I think of it in this light, I can see that “small” is hardly the word to use to describe it. I’ll bet you agree.
Feel free to share your thoughts with me at ashton@ashtoncannon.com.
Ashton Graham is an educator, book publisher, photographer, cowgirl and yoga teacher. She is currently studying to become a yoga therapist and lives on a ranch in West Texas. Visit www.ashtoncannon.com to learn more.
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This article originally appeared on Las Cruces Sun-News: Does size really matter?
