If you say you don’t 'believe' in abortion, is that really what you mean?

"I don't believe in abortion."

"You don't believe in a medical procedure that does, in reality, exist? Or you don't agree with it?"

With the overturn of Roe v. Wade, conversations around abortion often conflate "believe" with "agree." This also happens with other topics like same-sex marriage, climate change and more.

People have shared their frustrations over this type of framing on social media.

"I cannot stand people who say things  like “yeah I just don’t believe in biracial relationships, gay marriage, being transgender, etc.” like oK you may not personally choose to do any of those things but you can’t just ~not believe~ because it’s reality," user @melinanuttall shared on Twitter.

This subtle tweak may seem minor, but experts say it has the power to change conversations.

"Oftentimes we find ourselves not having important conversations around (political topics) because it is no longer something that people can talk about – You either 'believe' in it completely or you don't believe in it at all. And there's no gray area in between for looking at the specific nuances," says Jonathan Bowman, a communication studies professor at the University of San Diego.

Is arguing 'belief' versus 'agree' splitting hairs?

At first glance, it doesn't really seem like a big deal, Bowman says, but it does reframe the conversation.

"When we say 'believe,' it implies a specific belief system ... Sometimes these things can get tied together when they aren't necessarily compatible with one another. And so when we use the word 'belief' instead of 'agree, based on a belief,' it makes it a black and white issue."

And when there are no gray areas for discussion, it doesn't leave any room for dialogue, he explains. This plays out in hot-button issues that might be tied to a religious belief or understanding about how the world operates.

"When we tie it so closely to a belief when it isn't necessarily actually about a belief, it's rather about a perspective or an understanding, or an interpretation of what a belief system might say, that can be really problematic because ... if you disagree, suddenly now you aren't quote-unquote believing or being good at whatever perspective has led you that way."

Scott Kiesling, a professor of linguistics at the University of Pittsburgh adds 'believe' also makes it less likely to have a discussion about a topic because it makes it more personalized and more difficult to argue.

The biggest downfall: no communication at all

Bowman says the biggest problem with using "believe" in these instances is that it can lead to a total conversation shut-down.

"If I'm not leaving any opportunity for you to impact my point of view or my perspective, or my openness or closeness to an idea, not only does it hurt communication, but it actually just cuts it off," he says. "It essentially says, you and I have no reason to engage on this matter because I don't 'believe' this."

This is why conversations surrounding controversial social issues feel like subjects we shouldn't broach.

For others, however, Kiesling points out this option to use a belief-style framing may be a beneficial move for someone looking specifically to avoid a deep conversation about the issue. It all depends on context.

"It's an argument non-starter to say it's belief," he says. "You could think of it as a subconscious way of avoiding the conflict of these charged topics."

Is this all done intentionally or subconsciously?

Experts say it's both.

Consider the phrase "I love salsa," for example, which conveys a strong emotion.

"I can get you to understand the depth of my conviction about something by throwing around a word like that," Bowman says. "I don't actually love salsa. I enjoy it. You get how much I enjoy it though based upon the strength of that word. The same thing happens with 'belief.'"

The language we use can also be influenced by others.

"It could just be a couple of people started using ('believe') ... and it's become a way of talking about (these topics)," Kiesling adds. "Because that's what people do with language – follow other people."

Kiesling says this matches an overall trend in how language around political positions are changing.

"People are engaging with those kinds of (political) positions and actually thinking of them as belief, rather than thinking of them as philosophical political positions that you hold."

It's especially interesting given research suggesting facts don't appeal to us, especially if it counters a pre-existing belief.

"If you give people facts, it doesn't change their mind. They tend to ignore those facts," Kiesling adds.

What to do with 'believe,' 'agree' moving forward

If you're someone who now realizes you use "believe" around these topics when you really mean "agree," or if you're someone who gets frustrated or feels invalidated by people who do this, here are some suggestions:

If you really want to understand, ask questions. "Be willing to ... follow up with other people when they do use strong language because sometimes they're just accidentally using that language and it doesn't mean they actually hold that all or nothing approach,"  Bowman suggests. "People might be more open-minded than we're giving them credit for."

Kiesling agrees if dialogue is what you're after, question what does it mean to 'believe' in that thing.

"Well, what do you mean?" he suggests asking. "Do you believe it should be illegal? Is it something you don't want to do?"

Save strong language for important things. If you're looking to be more clear with your own wording, Bowman suggests not using terminology that "implies a moral absolute unless it really is a moral absolute to you."

Look on the bright side. Kiesling adds using "believe" can work to your advantage, a tactic when you're not looking to get into a heavy debate.

"We can appreciate that people can have different beliefs... whether that's politics or other things," he says. "It might be a positive thing where we can say, 'We're just going to disagree on this thing, but we're still going to be friends.' "

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Abortion, gay marriage: You don't 'believe' in it? Or don't agree?