Donald Trump really wants a military parade so here's what it might look like
In the wake of the Washington Post's report that Glorious Leader Donald Trump wants himself a parade to showcase America's grand military strength, we're wondering what the event may look like.
We know that Trump's love of a parade is part of what inspired his summer 2017 trip to France — where he got to hear a military band rendition of Daft Punk songs — and, thanks to yesterday's Post scoop, we know Trump gave "marching orders" for a similar type of parade in Washington, D.C.
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While there are traditionally military elements in parades across the United States for some patriotic holidays like Independence Day and Veteran's Day, it's rare for the country to put on a fully fledged military show of strength (CBS reports the last one was nearly 30 years ago after victory in the first Gulf War).
So, assuming Trump pulls this off, given the complicated logistics and heavy costs of putting on such a parade, what would it look like? Well, you can watch nearly 90 minutes of that 1991 celebration. But we also decided to dig through some archives for photos of the sort of thing we can expect should Trump's Grand Military Parade become reality.
First of all, flags! Military parades are full of flags that reflect on a nation's boisterous history.
Image: Getty Images
We know Trump is something of a size-obsessed individual and a military parade gives him the chance to whip out his ballistics for the world to see.
Image: Dmitry Korotayev/Epsilon/Getty Images
But it's not just about missiles, man. Nah, you get to roll out the TANKS! MIGHTY!
Image: Getty Images
A parade means standing over the proceedings and waving a lot to everybody. Who doesn't like to wave as they're pelted with adoration?
Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock
You get to hang out with your friends, too, inviting them to the reviewing stand and let them bask in the glow of your military strength.
Image: Getty Images
And don't underestimate Trump's love of the worship factor. Military parades are filled with building-sized portraits of glorious leaders!
Image: Getty Images
And sometimes they'll build a statue and then hold flags and it's all just so GLORIOUS.
Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock
And it's not just the soldiers; regular people will celebrate your military accomplishments.
Image: Wong Maye-E/AP/REX/Shutterstock
And, remember: Trump is a businessman first. When there's a big parade, there's always a chance to bring in merchandise and mementos.
Image: Getty Images
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