'He doted on her,' family said. So why did this marriage end in murder in Harrington?

Until Nov. 21, 2021, Sandra Nelson’s adult children thought her 26-year marriage to Richard Nelson was heartwarming, refreshing and “a little bit sappy."

“They left each other notes every day,” said Cindy Torres, Sandra Nelson’s adult daughter. “There were so many ‘I love yous.’”

Both Torres and her half-brother, Rob Rood, loved and respected their stepfather because he was so good to their mother, they said in impact statements.

“We thought Richard put (Sandra) on a pedestal,” said Rob Rood’s wife, Amanda Rood.

The family was stunned when two years ago, after a few weeks of a noticeable depression, Richard Nelson called 911 to report he had killed his wife and dog in their Harrington home.

“Her Ricky Nelson? Her soulmate? Her husband who took care of her when she got sick?” Torres said in disbelief.

The event completely changed her and other family members’ outlooks on life. Some of the women, especially, live with a certain fear.

“If this could happen to them, it could happen to anyone,” Torres said.

Background: Husband stabs, kills wife and dog in Harrington Sunday morning, calls 911 on himself

Amanda Rood made similar comments in court during Richard Nelson's sentencing.

“This couple had all the qualities that other couples envied,” she said. “If a man in that kind of relationship could murder his wife, does it mean that any man has that potential to do this?”

A matriarch and a cheerleader

Sandra Nelson was 74. She had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in her 20s and suffered from occasional flare-ups. At times, she was temporarily unable to speak or walk, according to Torres, and Richard Nelson took care of her.

“He doted on her,” Torres said.

Despite her illness, Nelson lived a full life. She taught Jazzercise, was a reiki master and volunteered at animal shelters.

She was the family matriarch, a loving mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. Rob Rood was a musician, and she "adopted” many of his bandmates, Torres said. She was everyone’s “best cheerleader,” according to Torres.

Amanda Rood collected over 35 letters from friends and family who were impacted by Sandra Nelson’s murder for the judge to read before Richard Nelson’s sentencing.

“Sandy was an amazing woman before he was in her life. Sandy was an amazing woman when he was in her life, and Sandy will continue to be an amazing woman after his life,” Amanda Rood said in court.

Background: 'There's something way off': Fatal stabbing of wife, dog in Harrington shocks neighbors

The 69-year-old Richard Nelson shared his wife’s love of animals, by all accounts. After his retirement, he took up classic cars as a hobby and appeared to be the epitome of normal.

According to Torres, he had no known history of violence or mental health issues.

‘Something way off’

When Richard Nelson started exhibiting signs of depression that November, he spiraled very quickly, according to family members.

They initially suspected his depression to be a reaction to the death of a beloved dog. Rob Rood said in his impact statement that phone calls with his mother “took a definite turn after their dog, Sophie, died.”

“Mom said she had never seen Rick so sad,” he said.

Richard Nelson was always very concerned with cleanliness and appearances, family members said in court, but he was even more so in the weeks leading up to his wife's murder.

The Nelsons had just returned to their home in Harrington’s Lucky Estates from Deep Creek Lake, Maryland, where they also owned a house. Richard Nelson was upset that some things in the house had fallen into disrepair, Rob Rood said.

During a phone conversation in early November, Richard Nelson told him “winter was coming and he was going to kill everyone in the house,” according to Rob Rood.

“I thought he was talking about the heat not working,” Rob Rood said in court.

About a week before the murder, a family member visited the Nelsons’ home and found Richard in an “agitated state,” Torres said. An ambulance was called, and Richard spent the night in a hospital. That led to appointments with psychiatric specialists being made, Torres said, “but things happened so quickly.”

The Nelsons’ neighbor, Tom Spires, saw Richard walking his and his wife’s dog, Liam, the day before he killed her. He was "ashen-faced" and "sullen," Spires said, and Sandra Nelson was "keeping an eye on him,” following a few yards behind.

"She had never, ever done that," Tom Spires said. "Everybody who saw him would say there's something way off with Rick."

More: She died bound in a bathtub in Delaware. Her body was found months later, buried in Md.

Sandra Nelson was cleaning her cat’s litterbox in the garage that Sunday morning when Richard Nelson stabbed her over 30 times with butter knives, family members said in their impact statements. He killed the dog, Liam, in the same manner, according to police, and tried to kill the cat. Richard Nelson planned to kill himself, too, his attorney said, but didn’t.

Afterward, he cleaned himself up and changed his clothes, Torres said in court. He called 911 just before noon and repeatedly said he “did a bad thing,” according to the state’s attorney Stephen Welch.

“Richard Nelson loved his wife, Sandra, and he loved their dog, but unfortunately, his mental illness was too much,” defense attorney Cara Brophy said in court. “Richard had decided to end his own life, and it was his mistaken belief that Sandra and their dog, Liam, would not be able to survive without him to care for them.”

More than one expert found Nelson was suffering from major depressive disorder and severe anxious distress at the time, according to court records. Why he didn’t follow through with ending his own life wasn’t clear. Doctors said he suffered a psychotic break, Torres said.

He pleaded guilty but mentally ill to second-degree murder and, in October, was sentenced to 30 years in prison, suspended after 15 years, followed by two years of probation. Other than to answer the judge with a “Yes, sir,” or “No, sir,” he did not speak at sentencing.

Torres doesn't feel his sentence is sufficient.

"Richard should be responsible for his actions," she told the judge, "as each family member now has been sentenced at his hands for the rest of our lives."

Shannon Marvel McNaught reports on Sussex County and beyond. Reach her at smcnaught@gannett.com or on Twitter @MarvelMcNaught.

This article originally appeared on Delaware News Journal: Harrington killing of woman, dog leads to sentencing of husband