Douglas Brouwer: I just ended a long relationship with football

I recently decided to break up with football. Hard to believe, I know.

The relationship was good at the beginning. All those Saturday mornings playing flag football as a kid. I enjoyed it and worked hard at it. Plus, I had the size for it.

I earned my varsity letter in high school. I played for a bad team, with a losing record, but I kissed a cheerleader after the last game, which we won, and that made up for a lot.

Then, for a long time, the relationship didn’t seem to be going anywhere. I didn’t play college football, which seemed like a good decision at the time. Instead, I became a fan. Mostly college football — Michigan teams, of course — less often professional football.

But now, in the past few years, I’ve felt that football has become unhealthy for me, even toxic, and I need to leave. It’s hard. It’s been such a big part of my life.

I first started having second thoughts when the whole thing with undiagnosed concussions was in the news. Traumatic brain injuries (known as chronic traumatic encephalopathy or CTE) sounded serious, and I was sad to see players who were so young lose themselves to depression and suicide. My coaches used to talk lightheartedly about “getting your bell rung,” and it didn’t seem so bad when they talked about it that way. I never had my bell rung, not that I recall, but I remember one or two classmates who had their bells rung. I should have paid more attention.

What really got my attention was seeing Buffalo Bills’ safety Damar Hamlin get up after making a tackle a few weeks ago and then fall to the ground in cardiac arrest. Only quick-thinking EMTs at the game were able to start his heart again. It looks as though he is going to be okay, but I know that I will never be the same.

But it’s not just the injuries. It’s the awful culture that seems to surround the game, especially the NFL. This season the Cleveland Browns signed DeShaun Watson to a five-year, $230 million contract, knowing that the NFL was about to suspend him for being — what should we call it? — a sexual predator. An 11-game suspension was thought to be an adequate timeout, however, and now he’s back on the field.

Tyreek Hill, a wide receiver for the Miami Dolphins, is getting $120 million while his girlfriend has accused him of threatening her life and breaking the arm of their 3-year-old son. I hope the league puts him on a long timeout, too.

There are others. But then think of Tim Tebow. He’s a fine young man, based on everything I know about him. Kirk Cousins, too, even though I don’t know him personally. What I read about him suggests that he is a fine role model. And his 13-4 record with the Minnesota Vikings this season wasn’t too shabby. So, I will admit that there are also some good guys playing in the NFL.

And what about college football? Something about the student-athlete thing seemed compelling to me decades ago. And maybe some of that amateur spirit still exists. But mostly colleges and universities have admitted that the whole student-athlete thing is a myth. Under pressure, the NCAA surrendered, and now football players can make millions from their NILs (name, image, and likeness). I say, “Good for them.” But I don’t recognize the game anymore. It’s become a business too, like the NFL.

College football coaches are some of the highest paid public employees in their states. In 2023, Nick Saban was the highest-paid coach, taking in $11.7 million per year for his work at Alabama. Dabo Swinney at Clemson is nipping at Saban’s heels with $11.5 million. Poor Jim Harbaugh is currently listed at only $7.5 million, but he is reportedly negotiating something better. I hope he gets everything he deserves.

My alma mater, Calvin University, has announced the start of a men’s football program and has hired its first coach. I seem to remember that the school’s alumni voted no to football in a recent referendum, but there are undoubtedly pressures I can’t begin to understand. For example, getting male students to commit to your school apparently depends to some extent on whether or not you have a football program. So, good for Calvin. And those Hope-Calvin rivalry games will be exciting, won’t they?

But I won’t be watching. I’m sad about the breakup, as I mentioned, but I’m hoping that something will come along and sweep me off my feet. I have a lot of love to give.

— Douglas Brouwer is a resident of Park Township, but is living and working during the current school year, 2022-2023, in the Hague.

This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Douglas Brouwer: I just ended a long relationship with football