When Dr. Google's a quack

Jul. 23—Everyone has checked with Dr. Google to try to learn more about an ailment or injury they or their kids might have.

Sometimes it's helpful, but mostly it leads down a frightening rabbit hole.

Google says the most searched ailments in the country are carpal tunnel, bursitis, shin splints, muscle strains and concussion.

Another group analyzed searches by state, and Minnesotans most often Googled concussion, sprained ankle, burn, rib fracture and sprained wrist.

Googling information on any of those topics will actually bring you some helpful information. Knowing how to treat a burn and when it's serious enough to go to urgent care, or when to use heat or ice or both for sprains and strains are useful pieces of information.

But when you have a symptom of unknown origin and then query Google as to why a bruise doesn't heal quickly, why you have a pain in your lower right abdomen or why you're feeling tired and fatigued, Dr. G will give dozens or hundreds of possible reasons, with cancer and certain death somewhere near the top of the list.

A medical website gave examples of real-life self-misdiagnosis aided by Google. A woman who was feeling fatigued poked around on the internet and decided she most certainly had a brain tumor. She apparently didn't think the fact she worked full time and had little kids to herd may have had anything to do with her condition.

She went to her doctor and demanded a barrage of tests, all of which showed no tumor. What he did find, through a normal blood lab, is that she was slightly anemic and needed to take an iron supplement.

There's an ongoing joke among the medical community that if you Google absolutely any symptom you will sooner or later land on the site that says you have cancer.

Before Google, people had moms and the Old Farmer's Almanac to help them figure out what to do.

While Minnesotans turn to Google to help diagnose and treat concussions, until recently no one took concussions seriously or even understood what they were.

When I was a kid and someone got their bell rung in sports, the coach would help them to their feet, let them shake their head a while and then he'd hold up to two digits and ask how many fingers the kids saw.

"One? No three," the kid would say.

"OK, you're good to go," said the coach.

While playing catcher in a backyard game at our farm, I got hit in the forehead with the backswing and ended up with a big goose egg. I remember Mom putting a butter knife in the freezer and then using it to apply firm pressure on the bump for several minutes. If I remember right, the theory was that using a sterling silver knife was important.

Turns out the folk treatment is still recommended. The pressure of the knife disperses the blood in the injury and the cold reduces pain and inflammation. Although I didn't find anything saying silver knives were superior.

Years ago the Old Farmer's Almanac provided a host of home remedies for families everywhere, including putting a piece of duct tape on a wart for three days, taking it off and rubbing it with a pumice stone — repeating until the wart's gone.

But the Holy Grail of home remedies has always been and still is apple cider vinegar. It can be used for sunburn relief, weight loss, upset stomach, facial toner, mole and wart remover, arthritis and more. And when you run out of things to cure on yourself, you can use the leftover vinegar to clean the bathroom and keep ticks off your dog.

Next time you have a pain in your side or a stubbed toe, pass on Dr. Google and look for an old or new set of Old Farmer's Almanacs.

Tim Krohn can be contacted at tkrohn@mankatofreepress.com or 507-720-1300.