Dreading the coming election year? Here's a Top 10 list for keeping political speech civil

It's now November, and exactly one year before the next General Election. And if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that this particular election cycle promises to be full of controversy, vitriol and maybe worse.

That's driven by a number of different things: misinformation, partisanship, special interests, willful abuse of the law and, sadly, a mistrust of the institutions that actually have served us well for more than two centuries.

Have you ever been in a situation where you hear someone — maybe a friend or a relative or someone you've known for years and thought was a reasonable and intelligent person — make a remark that stunned you and made you wonder how that person could possibly believe such a thing?

We likely all have. But it's probably fair to say that the frequency of these occurrences has skyrocketed in the last decade. Certainly we've seen things in that period that most of use never thought we'd experience in the United States.

As we venture into this progressively treacherous political season, is there anything citizens — voters — can do to turn down the temperature and, more important, be prepared to make wise choices when we go to the polls next year?

In 2019, the Stubblefield Institute for Civil Political Communications was established at Shepherd University for the specific purpose of promoting civil political discourse.

Since then the institute has regularly sponsored events, both for the public and for Shepherd students, to foster cordial discussions of local and national issues. It has attracted locally and nationally known speakers for these occasions.

But the reality is that each of us can choose whether to respond to politics and politicians with reason or with hostility. And to that end, the institute offers a number of suggestions for individuals to promote civility "in this moment." Here they are:

• If you observe that you are engaging in incivility, pause and take a few deep breaths. Step back from the situation.

Now there's one to remember when you gather with friends and family for Thanksgiving dinner.

• If you are in an unsafe situation, seek help.

In the not too distant past, it would have seemed unfathomable that anyone would have to be cautioned this way about expressing opinions on American politics. But it is an all too necessary warning given events that have already occurred, and a recent survey that shows nearly a quarter of us believe political violence might be necessary.

Think about that for a minute. Nearly a fourth of Americans believe political violence is OK?

Let's please understand something: No matter what the political disagreements might be, violence can never be the answer in a democratic republic. When we stoop to that level, we are no longer a democracy or a republic. We become an authoritarian regime in which one group seeks to take power by force, not by the will of the people.

Is that how we should be doing things in the United States? God forbid.

• Listen to others. When it is hard to listen, ask yourself questions to help you focus. Engage your curiosity. Ask yourself why the person is speaking or taking a particular action. If you start to interrupt when you think you understand, wait, and ask yourself, “What might I learn by continuing to listen?”

What? Shut up and listen? What a concept.

The anger and frustration often seen in those who tend to embrace populism usually have roots in legitimate grievances. It's important to understand what those issues are. They could be economic. They could be about health care. They could be legal entanglements or bureaucratic red tape or discrimination. These aren't, or at least they shouldn't be, "us and them" issues for political exploitation. They're problems that need solutions.

• Make notes if you need to, so that you will be able to share your responses later — but focus on listening.

In other words, know what you're responding to and be specific in your response. Don't make assumptions or generalities.

• When you have an opportunity, ask questions and continue listening.

That's a good way of making sure you understand what the other person is trying to say. And maybe even helping them clarify their own thoughts.

• Take your time when preparing to share your information, thoughts and feelings. You don’t have to share everything all at once.

Overwhelming someone with your point of view can backfire. It can make others dig their heels in deeper. Or just walk away because they're not interested. But the point here is it simply doesn't encourage communication. That's a two-way street. See the previous recommendations about listening.

• Encourage others to listen and to take turns sharing. Accept that it will be an imperfect process.

Imperfect, frankly, because we're imperfect. And that's always a good thing to remember.

• Share your thoughts in a civil way. This does not always mean being completely calm. You can speak with enthusiasm. However, behave such that your audience is unlikely to feel threatened by you.

It's difficult to get very far in politics without generating some genuine interest, as some of next year's candidates are already discovering. But when you build that interest simply by demonizing one side or the other rather than offering workable solutions to serious issues, you're not only not solving the problem, but you're creating a new one: the kind of hostility that makes real solutions impossible.

• Help yourself and others to choose productive civic engagement activities.

Put simply, don't be part of the problem. And don't participate in groups or activities that are.

And here's another thing to remember, although it's not on the Stubblefield list: Verify what you read or hear. And if you can't verify it, do not spread it.

There's a whole year to get through before the General Election. Let's each commit now to keeping things civil, honest and reasonable.

We'll all be much better off in the long run.

Tamela Baker is a Herald-Mail feature writer.

Do you relish ghost stories and scary movies? Ever wonder why we love to scare ourselves?

This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: A Top 10 list for keeping political discussions civil