Elise commentary: Winnie the Pooh’s friend
OK, I’m going to play the Eeyore card here. I know it may upset some people and many will disagree, but this is one outlook.
I realized a while ago that, contrary to popular thinking, the negative and difficult occurrences in our lives do not necessarily make us stronger. Quite the opposite.
Each blow can chip away at the vessel in which we were born, and some events can rip us to shreds.
A few examples. When I was 19 and a dance major in college, I was misdiagnosed with a kidney illness that necessitated major surgery. It was only decades later that I learned the surgery was not necessary and could have been handled in a less drastic manner.
From all the physical complications that followed the operation, I had to say bye-bye to dance and hello to fogginess. Floundering and some poor career decision-making ensued.
The second error in judgment was going to law school. I was accepted into the schools to which I applied and decided to give University of Washington in Seattle a try.
After one quarter, I knew the path was not for me. I understood torts and civil procedure, but couldn’t make heads or tails out of contracts. I remember crying almost every day and living in fear that I would be called upon in the huge classroom to answer difficult questions in front of many peers.
So long, law school. It took a long time to stop feeling like I failed for dropping out after one quarter. Some people who were and still are very dear to me couldn’t understand why I didn’t stick with it. That made the outcome more difficult and chiseled away at the aperture of protective covering even more.
By the way, some of the people I most admire are or have been lawyers. Not because of their degree, but because they are people of great integrity, kindness and discipline. I’m proud to call many of them friends.
After the fateful law school quarter, I rallied and got a Master’s in Counseling, but not without some heartache along the way.
One more decision error and then I’ll stop. When I was 48 years old, I decided that I wanted to live somewhere beautiful while I was still young enough to enjoy hiking, trail running and other outdoor physical activities.
I sold my house in Amarillo and moved to Santa Fe, NM. Gorgeous city, as you know, but also very expensive. The adage about life in Santa Fe was “New York city prices on Tijuana wages.”
Although I found a good job, I had to rent instead of buy when I lived there. I wouldn’t give up the almost-eight years I lived so close to three mountain ranges, including the Sangre de Cristos, and all the wonderful experiences I had and friends I made in Santa Fe. However, I should not have sold my house in Amarillo.
Had I thought it through more thoroughly, I could have hired a property management company and rented it.
That was yet another chink in the armor when I decided to move back to Amarillo to be with my now husband.
What is clear to me today is that none of these falters made me stronger at all. If anything, they weakened my resolve and created more fissures in confidence.
No, what has saved me – and I am guessing others as well – is that the new foundation became love. My husband is my center, as is our life together.
If one doesn’t have a spouse or partner, then perhaps a child and/or grandchild will be the focus of attention. If none of those are available, maybe a darling pet whom you adore will fill your heart.
In the end, it is all about nurturing someone (or more than one) special. It’s about loyalty, confidentiality, generosity and care. That’s how I rebuilt my shield.
That is what Eeyore taught me, and I love when other people quote his favorite line: “Thanks for noticin’ me.”
This article originally appeared on Amarillo Globe-News: Elise commentary: Winnie the Pooh’s friend
