Elleda Wilson: In One Ear: A glorious Fourth
Jul. 1—On the "Glorious Fourth of July," the July 3, 1890, edition of The Daily Morning Astorian declared that "Astoria will celebrate in grand style, and wants neighboring towns and cities to join in."
Big doings were afoot, starting with a wake-up 13-gun salute at sunrise and a Grand Parade at 10 a.m., followed by an oration, readings and patriotic music. At noon, the "National Salute of 42 guns" was followed by lunch.
Afterward, there was a Fat Man's Race up Main Street for a purse of $10 (about $296 now) followed by a Tender Race on Water Street (Commercial Street), a 200-yard Footrace for Firemen, a Boys' Footrace, a prize baseball match and finally, a 100-yard foot race for a $25 prize (about $740 now).
Strangely, the 5 p.m. Walking Tight Rope over the water was only worth a $5 prize. And, of course, there was a "Grand display of Fireworks," followed by a "Ball at the Opera House."
Businesses were expected to be festively decorated, and the townsfolk spruced up their property.
As the editor noted: "It is gratifying to know that the coming Fourth has power sufficient to induce people to change the location of their woodpile from the street, where it does not belong, but has been kept, to the rear of the house, where it does belong, but has not been kept."
Harumph.
At the end of such a hectic day, a dose of Pfunder's Kidney and Liver Regulator was available at the local pharmacy to ensure a speedy recovery. Or not.
