Elon Musk vs. Mark Zuckerberg UFC-style cage fight isn't the leadership the world needs

Last month, tech titans Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg taunted each other over a potential cage match inside a "Vegas octagon," a faceoff touted as the "biggest fight ever."

Now, Zuckerberg has launched his own Twitter-like platform, called Threads, which already has more than 100 million users.

Musk isn’t convinced that Zuckerberg has achieved much more than distracting humanity, and the Tesla founder's subversive rhetoric hit a pinnacle when he exclaimed, "Zuck is a cuck."

And don’t even ask Musk about Zuckerberg's much-maligned “metaverse.” But Zuckerberg might just as easily question Musk's fruitless effort to live on the deserts of Mars.

Is all this attention worth the clicks? And what does Musk and Zuckerberg's approach tell us about our culture of leadership?

The world doesn’t need leaders hellbent on more fighting, especially fighting for their own egos. We need leaders ready to take responsibility. Brave enough to become peacemakers. We need principled leaders who can help work cultures heal.

Instead of promoting cage matches, what if we were brave enough to squarely face the struggle to become better leaders and humans?

Apple's Tim Cook showed how to lead by de-escalating conflict

When Musk was going through a turbulent phase as the CEO of Twitter, he posted a tweet directed at Apple CEO Tim Cook. Musk was upset about Apple’s approach with the App Store and its handling of advertising dollars spent on Twitter. So Musk publicly attacked Cook, declaring a “revolution against online censorship in America,” which was specifically aimed at Apple.

Elon's Twitter decides 'cis' is a slur: Elon Musk declares 'cisgender' a slur on Twitter. What about 'fragile man with big ego'?

Cook is almost monk-like in his ability to calm the storm. Time and patience are his greatest warriors. Soft-spoken and almost the exact opposite of Apple founder Steve Jobs in terms of personality, Cook tends to sit back, listen and ask questions.

Cook’s ability to zoom out and see the bigger picture is legendary and has led to Apple’s meteoric rise in producing one innovation after another. No need to break speed records; just do it organically.

Would Cook fire back at Musk to defend Apple’s honor? Would he fight it out in the public square? Nope. Instead, he invited Musk to Apple Park and took him on a walkthrough of innovation land.

Cook considered the moment. He didn’t get distracted by anger and debate. This was an opportunity to define the situation and create context. He didn’t have to flex. He shifted the dark energy from an unfair mischaracterization into something else entirely: a mentoring moment for the talented, visionary but still “Rough Elon.”

Cook zoomed out, and invited Musk to do the same. What happened next? Musk posted a video of the reflection pond at Apple Park and tweeted, “Thanks @tim_cook for taking me around Apple’s beautiful HQ.”

Then Musk posted, “Good conversation. Among other things, we resolved the misunderstanding about Twitter potentially being removed from the App Store. Tim was clear that Apple never considered doing so.”

Opinions in your inbox: Get exclusive access to our columnists and the best of our columns

It was a master class by Cook in co-creative leadership and shaping the future together. It led to Musk defusing the situation himself. It came naturally, not forced. Musk changed his mind about Apple because of a story they shaped together. What if we all zoomed out, like Cook, to connect with others rather than fight?

How to be a better leader

Here are things we as leaders can do now:

➤Don’t get sucked into the fight. During tumultuous times when the rhetoric is red hot, we don’t need more fire. We need, as Bruce Lee said, to “be like water.” There’s a reason why iconic leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr. and Abraham Lincoln were peacemakers. Start by setting your ego aside and stepping away from the fight. Breathe. Meditate. Pray. Consider the timeless leadership of the ages, and how a peacemaker approach has changed the world. Do you want to be at peace? Then strive to be a peacemaker.

➤Trade in control for connection. It’s easy to stay in anger. But rage has no real use and only damages relationships. We live in a world where relationships are the fuel for powering everything from life satisfaction (see Harvard’s 80-year study) to the highest growth in any business. So why destroy that in exchange for a moment of selfish glory that will immediately fade? When life feels like it's spinning for us, our first inclination is to grab for more control. What if this is the wrong pursuit? Instead, pursue connection over control. The ultimate test of a leader is to lead with deep empathy. How can we make better connections with the people around us?

Opinion alerts: Get columns from your favorite columnists + expert analysis on top issues, delivered straight to your device through the USA TODAY app. Don't have the app? Download it for free from your app store.

➤Create space to share wisdom with others. Like Cook, who invited Musk into a brave conversation, we can give others space to create emotional safety, connection instead of friction and clarity in place of confusion. Do you struggle with an employee? Give them a call and truly listen to them. Ask questions to understand them better. Show compassion and be open to new possibilities. Do you know what they’re going through now in their life? It might be the loss of a loved one, a painful divorce or a financial crisis. We need to drop the pretenses and hiding behind “executive presence” to excuse our behavior and instead be present for others in their time of need.

➤Embody future-powering principles. Change how you live your life and show up to lead. Accept responsibility and avoid the blame game. Make the necessary sacrifices when others choose apathy. Be a leader guided by principles. There’s no point in crushing each other on our journey. We need to work together as we climb the same mountain. Life is already tough enough. Doing business is already difficult. We don’t need to fight each other on the way up.

As we look to the future, with technological acceleration (including artificial intelligence), and all the challenges we face as a culture, we can choose to fight each other or to be brave together. We can shape a beautiful story. One where we design better work and life experiences.

What will we choose? How will we lead the future?

Chris Deaver and Ian Clawson are authors of the book "Brave Together: Lead by Design, Spark Creativity, and Shape the Future with the Power of Co-Creation," which is available for pre-order. They’re co-founders of BraveCore, a leadership consultancy.

You can read diverse opinions from our Board of Contributors and other writers on the Opinion front page, on Twitter @usatodayopinion and in our daily Opinion newsletter. To respond to a column, submit a comment to letters@usatoday.com.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Musk vs. Zuckerberg, Twitter vs. Threads: This is leadership in tech?