Embarrassment is not the answer when writing a wedding toast for a friend
QUESTION: My best friend is getting married in June. I have been asked to give a toast to the new couple at the wedding reception. What should I say? Should I tell about my friendship with the bride? Mine is the first toast of the evening. Thanks.
CALLIE’S ANSWER: Keep it short and sweet and also light-hearted. No one wants to hear how crazy Stacy was in college. Good luck!
LILLLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Keep it short and personal, but not too personal. Toasts can get long if everyone gives an involved toast. Also, not everyone at the wedding rehearsal knows all the parties involved. Some might be there for just one of the people getting married or simply be close to one of the families. You’ll lose the crowd if you start sharing inside jokes that are just between you and your friend or a small group of people.
Also, contrary to how movies and television shows portray toasts like this for maximum dramatic effect, don’t embarrass your friend. A funny story is fine, but don’t go too far with it. Wish the couple well and state how you know them and what they mean to you, and keep it short. If you do that, everyone will be toasting you for starting the after-wedding celebration off with the right tone and length.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Since you have the first toast of the evening, keep it short, so that others can have their turn. Offer a few happy compliments about the bride, the couple and the wedding itself. Remember that private jokes about past relationships are not necessary as the couple is starting a new life together. Embrace it and send them on their way with your best wishes!!
GUEST’S ANSWER: Kathy Walker, community leader: Not knowing whether you are the best man, traditionally the first person to deliver a toast at a wedding reception, or whether you are in the unique position of a female or male dear friend of the bride, remember that sincerity and brevity are the critical ingredients of a wedding toast!
Considering that you are the best friend of the bride, it would be nice to recount one or two events in your lives together that would best depict the special qualities of the bride.
It would be appropriate to wish the bride and groom every happiness and fortune in the years that lie ahead for them. Another thought would be to thank both sets of parents for their love and hospitality during the wedding weekend. Sprinkle your address with a bit of humor if you like but remember to say nothing off-color or anything that might embarrass the newly married couple, their parents, or even the wedding guests.
Keep your toast somewhat short, perhaps around two or three minutes. Practice what you have written until any nervousness withers away!
Of course, you would first ask the guests to raise their glass of Champagne or wine when you make your toast. At the end of your address, repeat the bride and groom’s names before you sip your Champagne with a smile that connects with your best friend and her groom and ultimately with the entire room of wedding guests. Knowing that your toast will be a triumph, I say “Hear Hear” and “Cheers to you!”
Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20-plus; Lillie-Beth is 40-plus and Helen is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.
This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: Wedding toasts should be short, sweet, personal: What you need to know
