The need to embrace suffering
I am fortunate to receive daily meditations from Ricard Rohr and periodic dharma talks given by Thich Nhat Hanh before his death. Of late, Rohr and his friends have been writing about the connection between Body and Soul. An interesting perspective is the soul is not really something in the body, but the body is in the soul (poet, John O’Donoghue). The soul has cosmic connections and an interconnectedness with all of creation.
In Christianity there is the Mystical Body of Christ where all are members and the loss of one is a loss experienced by all. In Buddhism the concept of interbeing is much the same. In Buddhism there is a very strong emphasis on the present. We are the present continuation of our ancestors, mentors, and those who came before as well as a part of all of our surroundings animate and inanimate. A wave manifests separately from the water but remains an integral part of the water, never losing its waveness until it crashes on the shore and recedes into water once again.
Thomas Merton says it so eloquently: “Every other human is a piece of myself, for I am a part and a member of humankind… What I do is also done for them and with them and by them. What they do is done in me and by me and for me. But each one of us remains responsible for our own share in the life of the whole body.”
As we experience this interconnectedness we are exposed to love and suffering both from without (people and events outside of us) and within (our own personal suffering).
When we experience suffering, we can go in one of two directions: we can become angry, bitter and withdraw or we can embrace it, accept it, learning from it by becoming softened by it and compassionate. Rohr says, “if we do not transform our pain, we will surely transmit it to those around us and even to the next generation.”
Rohr, Thich Nhat Hahn and Michael Singer in the “Untethered Soul” all require embracing, or surrendering to, the suffering, in order to transform it.
To surrender requires a level of trust. When you learn to float you trust that something will hold you up. Its hard to surrender suffering unless you believe there is someone out there who is trustworthy to surrender to. Diana Hayes writes “mothers of the Black church …have a way of saying whenever …someone is burdened more than they feel they can bear, ‘You just have to let go and let God.’” For the Buddhist it is just letting go.
The burden of suffering is lightened by sharing it with those around you, with God or your higher power, or simply by letting it be. All require surrender.
The need to embrace suffering to eventually transform it or overcome it is almost paradoxical. Avoidance comes easier and seems more logical to our ego dominated mindset. You might even think “let go, let God” is nothing other than avoidance. It’s not. “Let go, let God” is part of acceptance; part of surrender; part of the transformation process. 12 step programs encourage this process. Secular spiritual programs (Singer’s “Untethered Soul”), Buddhist tenants, and Christian religious teachings all profess the value of embracing suffering. These diverse traditions attest to the efficacy and need to embrace suffering,
Surrendering to our suffering; our pain and sharing it with others or someone we trust, may not remove the pain but it makes it more tolerable and allows us a chance to take a breath before taking up the burden again. In the process we learn a valuable lesson; gratitude that we are not alone. When practiced enough this can lead to compassion for those around us and a true sense of joy in our interconnectedness. We will not transmit pain to those around us but joy.
— This is the opinion of Times Writers Group member Peter Donohue, who has been involved in the arts in Central Minnesota for more than 35 years. His column is published the third Sunday of the month.
This article originally appeared on St. Cloud Times: The need to embrace suffering
