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Emily Ratajkowski will release her upcoming book, "My Body," in November.
The New York Post published an excerpt and quotes from the book about her childhood.
Ratajkowski reportedly wrote it was important to her parents that she be "perceived as beautiful."
Emily Ratajkowski got candid about the beauty standards she faced from her family and others while growing up.
"I tried to gauge where my parents thought I belonged in the world of beauties," Ratajkowksi, 30, wrote. "It seemed important to them both, especially to my mother, that their daughter be perceived as beautiful."
Ratajkowski, who's married and shares a child with Sebastian Bear-McClard, reportedly wrote that "beauty was a way for me to be special."
"When I was special, I felt my parents' love for me the most," the excerpt said.
The New York Post reported that Ratajkowski said she began modeling as a preteen and noted that she first garnered male attention when she was 12 - something that did not escape her mother, Kathleen.
At her first modeling audition, Ratajkowski reportedly recalled her mother pointing out that a young man was looking at her. Ratajkowski's mother had reportedly told her to flip her hair when it was her turn with the casting directors.
"That boy looked at you when you stood up and flipped your hair. He was watching you," Kathleen reportedly said.
At 13, Ratajkowski was reportedly sent home from a school dance because chaperones determined her dress was "too sexy."
"I was a child, but somehow already an expert in detecting male desire, even if I didn't completely understand what to make of it," Ratajkowski wrote, The New York Post reported.
In another instance, Ratajkowski wrote that a casting agent made an inappropriate comment towards her while she was still in high school. The agent reportedly examined some of Ratajkowski's photos and said: "Now this is the look. This is how we know this girl gets fucked."
"My face felt hot," Ratajkowski wrote. "Was this something to be proud of?"
Ratajkowski wrote that she initially felt empowered, but later her views shifted.
"It had never occurred to me that the women who gained their power from beauty were indebted to the men whose desire granted them that power in the first place," she wrote, the outlet reported. "Those men were the ones in control, not the women the world fawned over."
She continued: "Facing the reality of the dynamics at play would have meant admitting how limited my power really was - how limited any woman's power is when she survives and even succeeds in the world as a thing to be looked at."
Ratajkowski wrote that she "was forced to face some ugly truths about what I understood as important, what I thought love was, what I believed made me special, and to confront the reality of my relationship with my body."
Recently, another excerpt from "My Body" said that Ratajkowski was groped by singer Robin Thicke while filming the "Blurred Lines" music video. She wrote that it made her feel "naked for the first time that day," but she was "desperate to minimize" the alleged incident.
"I pushed my chin forward and shrugged, avoiding eye contact, feeling the heat of humiliation pump through my body," Ratajkowski wrote. "I didn't react - not really, not like I should have."
Ratajkowski told People that she didn't come forward with the allegation because she feared it would negatively affect her career.
"I was an unknown model and if I had spoken out or complained, I would not be where I am today; I would not be famous," she told the outlet.
Read the original article on Insider