Episcopal church in Poconos embraces queer spirituality with Pride Mass, dinners

A light breeze lifted the rainbow sash on the cross outside of Christ Episcopal Church in Stroudsburg as congregants quietly made their way inside.

Calm piano music, played by Anthony Sharp, filled the church. Congregants, some wearing rainbow-colored leis, sat in wooden pews.

Soon, Sharp began playing the processional hymn, and although it wasn't something you'd find in a hymnal, it was certainly a song everyone recognized. Within moments, the congregation and chorus erupted in a cheerful rendition of "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper.

On the eve of the Pocono Pride Festival, the church was holding its first Pride Mass on June 3.

Representatives from the clergy of St. John's Evangelical Lutheran Church in Stroudsburg made their way through the main aisle, led by members of Christ Church and Father Bruce Gowe, priest in charge.

"In Jesus, we have been given peace. We have hope, we have hope because God's love has been poured into our hearts... through the Holy Spirit," Gowe said in his sermon. "God says in Jesus that those who are blessed and will inherit the kingdom of God are those who have cared for the least among us.

"Those who will receive eternal life are those who have cared for Jesus — those who have cared for their neighbor."

Gowe, who is gay, retold the story of how growing up he felt different from others. Although he couldn't quite place the reason behind it, he struggled, feeling "awkward, scared, shame, nervous, sad, and frustrated and angry at the world at times."

He noted that he grew up with loving grandparents who helped him "understand the love of Christ" while living in a Christian culture of homophobia.

Gowe struggled as he grew older, he said, asking God, "Why did you make me this way?"

"Why can't I be normal?" Gowe recounted. As he began to explore his small-town bubble, and accept himself, he gained the strength to come out when he turned 18, right before he graduated from high school.

While in college, he struggled with the call to become a member of the clergy, something he had felt since childhood (he built altars out of Legos, he said to the congregation).

"But where" could he become a priest, if his then-community couldn't accept him fully as a gay man?

His continuing struggle would continue as he joined seminary and became a minister. He would soon gather the strength to leave "that place of security," realizing that "sometimes we have to take a leap of faith for hope to flourish."

Gowe eventually found a Christian community that accepted, loved and supported him.

"This story could be anyone LGBTQA+," Gowe said.

"I'm sure many of us have felt lost, shame, or felt bullied or scared. We've asked the same questions that I mentioned before: 'Why me? Why can't I be normal? Accepted?'"

He noted that after going through his struggles, he was able to see that there was "Life after Love," a nod to the recessional song by Cher that would be played by Sharp on piano at the end of the service.

The theme of the night challenged participants to ask themselves what normal truly was, and to embrace "God's queerness," which Gowe described as God's "broadness."

'You've got to step out there'

The church hosts a Queer Spirituality Dinner on the third Tuesday of each month, a communal "family-style" dinner that includes a conversation "around some kind of aspect of spirituality, particularly with the queer lens," Gowe said.

At the June dinner, attendees discussed the word "queer" itself, and the different meanings it can have for different people.

The dinners grew out of trips to East Stroudsburg University for queer spirituality conversations at the Gender and Sexuality Center. "We’re trying to bridge the generational gap too," Gowe said, adding that older parishioners can learn what it’s like to be a young queer person today compared to decades ago.

"Some of my parishioners were asking things about pronouns and so forth, and I said 'Well, let's ask this generation,'" he said.

At church, the focus is on worshiping God, but at the dinners, there's an opportunity "for people to do their own questioning and diving into a particular topic," Gowe said.

The dinners are spiritual but not limited to Christianity, and can be a good "stepping stone" to a Christian church or other accepting faith traditions, he said.

Sometimes churches are welcoming and inclusive, but less public about it, Gowe said. "At some point, you've got to step out there and say it and be it. And that's really what the Episcopal Church is about too."

A 'shift' at the church

As the Mass continued through the Apostles' Creed, a reading of the poem "God is Queer As In..." and the Eucharist followed by an awe-inducing rendition of Gloria Gaynor's "I Am What I Am" by Sharp, a man wearing a "Drag is Not a Crime" T-shirt cried while leaning on his friend's shoulder.

Frank Colletta is known throughout Stroudsburg as "Frank Bishop," a DJ and event promoter. He was soon to debut as a drag performer. Colletta is married to a woman and has children, and is a member of the LGBTQ+ community, having dated and loved people of different gender identities throughout his life.

He had at one time been an active member at Christ Church, serving in the vestry.

Colletta returned after Father Bruce invited him to DJ the congregation's trick-or-treat event for Halloween.

"I think he knew that was the only way I was gonna come back," Colletta said with a smile. "He heard that I was part of the vestry and he wanted me to rejoin to the church."

When Colletta did come back that October, he felt something "shift" at the church.

"It was (Father Bruce)... his approach. And just the way he was treating me and members of the congregation... something changed."

Having a place to call home in the church "was everything" Colletta said. "I can't quantify it in words, it's impossible. I think that's why I just started crying, because I felt this overwhelming sense of belonging and truth when it came to Christianity... I've never felt, as (Father Bruce) described in the Mass, 'normal'. I don't know what that is. I don't think it exists."

When asked what empowers him to be strong in his faith and convictions as a gay man, Gowe said it's about "understanding the deep love, not the fake love... and understanding God in his queerness." Living in that concept helped "liberate" the scriptures for Gowe.

According to Gowe, the scriptures are "written in a particular history and certain context, but they're written for all. They're not a tool for hatred. I feel grace as a prophet, priest, teacher to share that."

"So really what empowers me, at its biggest, is God."

This article originally appeared on Pocono Record: Stroudsburg church holds first Pride Mass on eve of Pocono Pride Fest