Every Time We Gasped at the ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Reunion Trailer

This is a preview of our pop culture newsletter The Daily Beast’s Obsessed, written by senior entertainment reporter Kevin Fallon. To receive the full newsletter in your inbox each week, sign up for it here.

This week:

• An excellent vampire show.

• An excellent trailer.

• An excellent Twitter thread.

• An excellent movie poster.

• The worst thing ever.

The Greatest Television in History

I have roughly a million thoughts about this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. But none of those matter anymore, now that everything I hated about and was frustrated by this season contributed to the greatest three minutes of content I have seen this year: the reunion trailer. (Watch it here.)

You may not watch RHOBH. You may scoff at the Real Housewives and everyone who loves them. It doesn’t matter. This three-minute trailer is excellence. It is fireworks. It is cinema. The trailer is one shocking moment after next, to the point where it’s almost overwhelming. It’s like Lucy at the chocolate factory with the conveyor belt of bonbons, but it’s gasp-inducing revelations instead. You almost can’t keep up.

In tribute to this masterpiece, here is every time I gasped while watching the RHOBH reunion trailer.

When the time stamp says 9:47 p.m. (“They missed happy hour” gasp)

When Kyle says she wants to leave before the toast. (“Turning down a free drink?!” gasp)

When Andy asks “Doug” if Kyle can leave. (“Who is Doug and is he single” gasp)

The first time they show Lisa Rinna. (“They hired a Khloé Kardashian impersonator” gasp)

When Kathy Hilton mentions Lisa Vanderpump. (“Ghost of Christmas Past” gasp)

When Erika alleges that Dorit’s husband once asked her if she was a porn star. (“They finally rendered Dorit speechless” gasp)

When Sutton’s cat sweater is brought up. (“It’s called fashion” gasp)

When Rinna says “put me on pause!” (“But actually do it” gasp)

The half of a second when Worst Housewife of All-Time Diana Jenkins is shown. (“Lick my lips and gasp” gasp)

When Garcelle rolls her eyes after Erika says she’s going to get her $1.3 million earrings back. (“Erika really is a monster” gasp)

Crystal’s face after Kyle reads her over the usage of the word “violated.” (“Merriam Webster” gasp)

When Dorit learns that horses are used to make glue. (“The more you know” gasp)

When Kathy says Rinna is making such a big deal about her meltdown because her contract is up. (“But now we said it” gasp)

When Kathy says that Rinna is “the biggest bully in Hollywood and everyone knows it.” (“Kathy got a debate coach!” gasp)

What to Say About Bros…

I have spent the last week talking about Bros. The romantic comedy—the first major studio theatrical release with out gay men as the leads—epically underperformed at the box office, to an extent that didn’t make sense given its positive reviews, word of mouth, tracking, and historic nature. Then again, maybe it did make sense. Who wants to watch gays in movies unless they’re dying or played by straight people, am I right?

I have talked through every element of it, with my colleagues, with people on Twitter, with my friends, with my barber… I still don’t have a firm answer on why the movie didn’t get the box office response it deserved.

Was it because Billy Eichner isn’t a big enough star? (Yes, but also no…Eichner is no less of a star than Kumail Nanjiani, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jason Segel, or Amy Schumer were when Judd Apatow produced comedy vehicles around them. But there is one factor that separates him from that roster…)

So was it because of homophobia? (That’s easy to say, but it also wouldn’t necessarily be wrong to say. And it extends to the LGBT community, too, which, at least online, took a baffling glee in chronicling the movie’s flop.)

Was it a marketing failure? (Anecdotally, yes, which is also confusing. It’s hard to believe that anyone who heard about the landmark nature of the movie and was annoyed rather than thrilled about it didn’t also hear all the trumpeting of how well-reviewed and funny it was.)

In any case, I’m tired of talking about it and still don’t have a coherent thesis, mostly because of how incoherent the onslaught of Twitter opinion has been. So I am sharing this thread by Guy Branum, who stars in the film. He explains why it is so frustrating that people were apparently put off by how aggressively star and co-writer Billy Eichner implored the LGBT community to support the movie. The first few tweets are below, but I encourage you to read the whole thread here.

Choices Were Made

We are so close to experiencing the cultural event of our lifetimes: Lindsay Lohan’s first Netflix holiday movie. To protect myself against disappointment, I refused to believe it was real. But we now have a trailer for Falling for Christmas, which hits Netflix on Nov. 10. (Side note: That is far too early for Christmas movies. Have some respect for Thanksgiving.) There’s a poster, too.

This poster should be studied. It is the movie poster. I’ve never seen one more perfect.

Two people are on the poster, but only Lohan is named. No notes. Men do not need credit. They’ve had enough.

Because of all of the different fonts used, not a single word is legible besides “CHRISTMAS.” All we need to know. Perfect strategy.

Lohan and Nameless Man appear to be as tall as a house-sized Christmas tree. Falling for Christmas is a sci-fi fantasy film, who knew?

And then there are the sleeves.

Lohan’s red jumpsuit sleeves are now iconic. They are history. There is Marilyn Monroe’s Some Like It Hot white dress, Audrey Hepburn’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s black gown, and Judy Garland’s The Wizard of Oz blue gingham jumper. Now there is also Lindsay Lohan’s Falling for Christmas bell sleeves.

We Can’t Have Nice Things

It was “Mexican Week” on The Great British Baking Show this week. It was about as dignified and respectful as you’d expect.

Remember when this show made news because of how refreshingly classy it was?

What to watch this week:

Derry Girls: I don’t think I’ve understood a word of dialogue on this show, but I’ve loved it so much. (Now on Netflix)

Tár: Cate Blanchett is God. (Now in theaters)

Let the Right One In: If you’re going to watch creepy content this month, at least make sure it’s good. (Sun. on Showtime)

What to skip this week:

Hellraiser: A terrible remake of a horror classic. Real original. (Now on Hulu)

Amsterdam: Sometimes, Hollywood’s most famous and talented people gather together and make absolute garbage. (Now in theaters)

Read more at The Daily Beast.

Get the Daily Beast's biggest scoops and scandals delivered right to your inbox. Sign up now.

Stay informed and gain unlimited access to the Daily Beast's unmatched reporting. Subscribe now.