EVERYDAY HEROES: Mother of two raises disability awareness in Tahlequah

Sep. 30—Nicki Barnes Scott grew up in Moody, moved to Okmulgee to study to be a jeweler, and then returned to Cherokee County to be close to family. She married her high school sweetheart, Justin Scott, and after having two children, she believed that life would be normal.

Within a short period, she received news that would change her life's trajectory.

"About the same time that our son was diagnosed with autism, our daughter was diagnosed with down syndrome," said Scott.

Her children are now 15- and 10-years old, and over the course of their lives they have inspired Scott to be a voice in the community for children with special needs.

"It changed the trajectory of what our future would look like," she said.

When her daughter, Pepper, was two- or three-years old, she attended an early childhood development class for social interaction. This served Scott because it provided the respite she needed as a mother of two children with disabilities, but it also afforded her time to bring awareness to the community.

She decided to launch the Wild West Fall Fest in 2013 and continued it every year until the onset of COVID-19.

"We would invite the community to come and have a free couple of hours to spend with their families downtown in the park. We had all the games sponsored. There were free snacks and hot dogs. There were things to do as a family, but we also had a guest speaker come and talk about what it was like to be disabled," she said.

She asked the guest speakers to address the public for five minutes to bring awareness to people with disabilities. She also recruited volunteers who experienced mobility challenges, including amputees or those who had other disabilities.

"It was to get the community to interact with people with differences," she said.

Her hope was to normalize people with different abilities, and she believes that she was able to do some good in the community.

She also launched My Friends and Me, which is a 501(c)(3) that advocates for disabled people.

"We took on projects in the community to serve our mission, which is to make Tahlequah autism aware and the most disability-friendly area in Oklahoma," she said.

They practice gentle advocacy because she believes that people respond to kindness and connectedness.

"You can be a lot more effective by influencing gently than you can by picketing, stomping your feet, and shaking your fist," said Scott.

She advocated for the creation of a silent corridor during the Christmas parade. She noticed that her daughter loved to attend parades because she loved to see the lights, but they had to watch it outside of the car window because of the noise.

"Our Christmas parade has a silent corridor where the band plays, but there's no revving motorcycles or sirens for the first corners of the parade. So children with sensitivities can enjoy the parade without having flight issues," she said.

She also advocated for the all-inclusive playground at the Anthis-Brennan Sports Complex that was completed in 2018.

She worked with Leadership Class 19 and the Tahlequah City Council, who accepted a number of her ideas and helped her to make them a reality.

"Our budget wasn't going far enough. Leadership Class 19 helped us to buy the equipment and launch fundraisers," she said.

The pandemic has all but halted My Friends and Me operations. Because so many with disabilities are medically fragile, it has made it impossible for her to hold events without putting her demographic at risk. Her sources of funding are also dwindling as budgets tighten around the county. She is not sure what the future of her nonprofit group will be, but she has vowed to continue to advocate for her children and for others with disabilities.

"I am going to keep educating. I'm still going to be out helping, working, advocating, and educating because I want this for my town, and for my kids. I want my kids to be accepted," she said.

Currently, the only activity that she is able to put on is education for law enforcement. She wants police officers to understand how to recognize autism.

"It's to help law enforcement and emergency response be up to date on autism and how to recognize it when you have a combative person who isn't responsive," she said. "We can do that at little cost and without putting our demographic at risk."