Extremely Important Thoughts About the ‘FBoy Island’ Premiere
Last summer, reality competition FBoy Island took us to paradise. As crypto bros and West Elm Calebs permeated the contemporary dating scene, the hit HBO Max reality series dared to ask the most pressing question of 2021: Can women actually dodge fuckboys, or will the nice guys always finish last?
The results of this experiment were inconclusive, but nonetheless a trash-TV triumph was born. Now the series is back for a second season full of more random twists and oily pecs, and we’re (Daily Beast writers Laura Bradley, Allegra Frank, and Fletcher Peters) ready to break down every minute of mischief.
For those who haven’t watched the first season over and over again—not that we have, of course…—here’s a quick Fboy Island primer. Around a dozen self-proclaimed “FBoys” and another dozen “Nice Guys,” all pretty sexy, must fight for the hand of one of three women. The women—this season, welcome Mia, Louise, and Tamaris—each choose a guy to settle down with. If they pick a nice guy? They’ll split $100,000. But if they go for an FBoy? He’ll get the $100,000, with the option of splitting it with his lady.
Every week, HBO Max will drop a new batch of episodes in which the women date around, smooch, and banish a handful of guys to either the “Nice Guy Grotto” or the far less luxurious holding area, “Limbro.” At Limbro, men can only wear the clothes on their backs. They must endure FBoy therapy from host Nikki Glaser. Maybe one day, if they’re strong enough, they can return to the island and try again with the girl of their dreams.
But probably not. There will be screaming outside of bathrooms. Season 1 players will return. And, hopefully, against all odds, love will be found. Even if it isn’t, at least there will be chaos—and we’ll be here to break down every moment of the madness.
Fletcher: Let’s start with Lucasz, the “FBoy” who came onto the show claiming to be a virgin. Was that a good strategy? I think it was great, if he wanted to go down in the FBoy Hall of Fame (a bad place to be). But to win the game? Absolutely not.
Laura: His “strategy” of pretending to be a floppy-eared virgin on a show that includes the (implied) word “fuck” in the title? I mean... It wouldn’t be my first plan!
Fletcher: “F” in “FBoy” actually stands for “Fake Virgin.” (Was he actually a virgin? We never found out.)
Allegra: FVBoy Island!
If he wanted to position himself as the Nicest Nice Guy, which I assume is what he was going for, then … I mean, I get the thinking! Also, frankly, he did the most important thing someone should do on this show, which is to be memorable. And that binch was memorable.
Still, the point is, ostensibly, to win money. And he was never going to do that!
‘FBoy Island’ Is the Greatest Thing Nikki Glaser (and Humankind) Has Ever Done
Fletcher: It’s a good strategy, being nice and innocent. He just went too far with it. Maybe just say, “I’ve only ever been in one long term relationship, and she broke my heart,” or something to actually make a girl empathize.
Maybe we need a reverse. A Nice Guy who poses as an FBoy.
Allegra: OK, THAT would be SO GOOD
Laura: That’s way more fun. Elan Gale, if you’re reading this, take note!
Allegra: The thing about this show is it’s new enough to still feel unpredictable when it comes to strategy. It’s still a dating competition, but its rules are so unique (and convoluted) that I have to give props to the boys for trying anything kind of wacky.
Fletcher: OK, maybe we move onto another strategizer. How can the other guys take down Mercedes, clearly a villain? (Unless HE’S the Nice Guy posing as an FBoy.)
Laura: I have my suspicions that he is exactly that! After a couple episodes, his “FBoy” act feels like it’s laid on kind of thick. And there are advantages to playing the FBoy even if you plan to split the money, I think?
Allegra: Right. Clearly these women have historically given too much benefit of the doubt to FBoys. There’s precedent for an FBoy winning this game, in all the ways that count. (Like, becoming an influencer/someone we remember—Garrett, Casey, we see you.) Okay, maybe not all the ways … the money is the real way to win.
That said, I don’t really believe that Mercedes is smart enough to pull off a stunt that duplicitous??? He’s TOO good at the villain act.
Fletcher: I just feel like Mercedes is ruling the show more than these women are right now. He’s controlling everyone, but I do think his act will tumble...hopefully at the hands of the women. He’s less focused on getting Louise, and more focused on eliminating guys. This isn’t Survivor!
Laura: So, here’s my super-conspiracy-brain theory about Mercedes, slash guys posing as FBoys in general: I think that if you're playing the long game on any reality show, you’re thinking less about the competition than you are how the game will affect your broader social media brand. The cash prize is negligible compared to the sponcon deals you can get if you break out. And it’s way more compelling to watch a supposed “FBoy” get “reformed” than it is to watch a Nice Guy win.
Does this make sense, or did I officially rot my brain with too much Bachelorette and FBoy Island this week?
Fletcher: No, that’s exactly right! I’ve been seeing these fellas posting alllll over Instagram with each other—not about the girls, rarely about the show. Garrett and Casey were wise to befriend one another last season and become popular with fans as a duo, constantly appearing on each other’s social media. And see how that pays off? They’re back.
(Garrett even won!! So, like, brilliant strategy, as scummy as he is.)
Allegra: Half these guys have girlfriends back home, anyway. These shows absolutely are not vehicles for finding love anymore!
Fletcher: That being said, I am really rooting for some of the guys to get the girl. Poor Tom. I do believe he is head over heels for Tamaris.
OK, also: Mercedes convinced Nikolay to tell Louise he was talking shit about her, dissing her as a “dumb blonde” moments after meeting. Let’s get into that, too. Was Nikolay wise in covering up his tracks?
Laura: Mercedes saw an easy mark and he was absolutely right. Nikolay is clearly not a student of how these shows work, or how to navigate these competitions’ social situations to shift things in your favor. He was never long for this oiled-up world.
Fletcher: Again, happy for the drama, not happy with the strategy. This was so fun to watch, but Nikolay really flopped. He could’ve made something up about Mercedes—or done literally anything besides telling Louise what he said. Even if Mercedes told Louise what was said, he might've looked more like a gossip/tattle tale than a good guy anyways.
Allegra: Totally agreed—very fun, but also very painful to watch. To me, this show is about how no one can be trusted, literally! This is why Nice Guys get voted out too. It’s really down to the girls making gut decisions at the end, so there’s only so much you can do in terms of showing honesty. Everyone is suspicious and paranoid!
Laura: Let Mercedes tell Louise what he wants. There’s always a way to spin that as him being the gossip. But once you become a source of drama, you immediately kill the spark and your chances plummet.
Comedian Nikki Glaser Would Rather Be ‘Fuckable’ Than Funny
Fletcher: It’ll kill him soon enough! But now it’s Peter time. Mercedes and the guys are pissed at Peter. They think he has an advantage because he appeared in Season 1. (And got eliminated on Night 1!) Do the guys have a right to be mad at Mia over going after Peter?
I’m torn on this one. Mia needs to step away from this man, but I don't think the other guys want her to leave him for the right reasons. Obviously, they're jealous. But are any of them actually worried about Mia? Part of me thinks Peter is the most annoying dude on set—Casey backs me up here, and he seems like a good time—and they want him to leave them alone.
Allegra: I mean, most of these dudes aren’t thinking of anyone but themselves. I can definitely see Peter being incredibly annoying. His job is “child care/influencer.” Tell me that isn’t inherently obnoxious. But beyond that, of course the guys are mad at the dude from last season getting a second chance. It feels like an unfair advantage … except in this case, it’s not, because Peter got axed in the first round of Season 1, right?!
Fletcher: He’s lucky Mia had a long-standing crush on him. Or else he would’ve been voted off twice in the first round, which would’ve been ICONIC.
Laura: Peter is absolutely resting on his laurels, and I hope Mia calls him on it. But I think the other guys can stuff it.
I just need these men to realize that on FBoy Island, they don’t have “rights”! They’re here to compete for a woman's attention. I thought it was so telling that John eliminated himself once he realized Mia was going to cut him, and he said he wasn't going to “beg” a woman. It reminded me of Casey and CJ last season, when Casey kept saying he wanted an “equal partnership.” There is no equality here, sir! You're here auditioning for a date! Get with the program or get thee to Limbro.
Fletcher: On the flip side, I think a lot of guys are here to get voted off immediately so they can hang out at Nice Guy Grotto, and good for them! More on Peter: Is he reformed?!?
Allegra: Good for them!!! And … no. I don’t believe it for an instant. I think he just wanted back on the show and his having barely been on the first season makes him mysterious enough for people to believe he’s changed. Who was he really before? It’s hard to say based on what we know. But I don’t think he’s made a significant lifestyle or attitude change if he actually is back here on this kind of show.
Laura: I do not buy for a second that he’s changed. He drips fuckboy energy.
Fletcher: If the show calls him “reformed,” I call bullshit. I think he might say he’s reformed, but he has some real soul-searching to do if he thinks he’s a nice guy. A nice guy does not lock himself in the bathroom to convince a girl he’s changed!
Laura: (“I’VE CHANGED!!!! I’VE CHANGED!!!!!!!!”)
Fletcher: I was actually a big fan of his in Season 1, before CJ dropped him. Now I know: You should never doubt the queen. (I miss CJ!)
Allegra: GOD I miss her. I have to say, I’m not as in love with the girlies this season … but that’s another story. That said: Peter is horrible and no one deserves him. Get him outta here, ladies!
Laura: Wait, speaking of Nice Guys, though—can we talk about Benedict really quickly?
Fletcher: Yes!!
Laura: WHAT a cutie!
Fletcher: He is a superstar. I don’t really like his comedy, BUT I’ll forgive him for that.
… Nikki Glaser also told me he never laughed at her jokes, BUT I’ll forgive him for that too.
Laura: Waaaaiiitt....
Allegra: He’s a dumb-dumb, but a very sweet boy! Maybe he was too anxious to laugh at Nikki. Nikki is so powerful.
Also, I googled to see a rundown of the new cast, and in the piece I found, Benedict is quoted as enjoying “eating rotisserie chicken in his car and biting his nails.” He’s amazing. Never let him go. If he betrays us, which I’m not positive he WON’T, I will be pretty torn up over it.
Fletcher: Costco rotisserie chicken, I hope. And me, too!
Laura: Perish the thought!
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