Faces of Monroe’s homeless: Romy’s story
November is Homeless Awareness Month - This is the first of a two-part series on homelessness in Monroe.
At a time when many families are preparing to go home for the holidays, Romy Kelley has no home to go to. The 24-year-old, along with her three children, are just four of the many faces of the homeless in Monroe.
With no money in her pocket and all the clothes she could pack in a plastic garbage bag, Kelley arrived at Oaks Shelter with her three-year-old daughter Violet, and sons, Daylen, 2, and three-month-old Rylo. The Second Street facility, open 365 days a year, provides transitional housing and an emergency warming shelter.
“We were staying with my children’s grandmother,” she said. “Rylo had just been released from being hospitalized with RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) and we weren't able to live there anymore. I had been trying to get into the shelter since July, but a family room wasn’t available for me and my children.”
There are many reasons why people become homeless. Some are escaping domestic violence. For others, it may be because of a lack of affordable housing, mental illness, or unemployment. It’s estimated 30 percent of the homeless population are families – adults with children.
For Kelley, born and raised in Monroe, having a structured family life and home to grow up in was never part of her story. Her parents separated when she was young. Her mother remarried a couple of times and had problems of her own with substance abuse.
“My father was a part of my life, but it wasn’t consistent,” she said. “He has a girlfriend that I call my stepmom, but she’s never really cared for me.”
Growing up, Kelley often bounced from place to place. Sometimes she stayed with family or friends. When she was 10 years old, she was molested by a family member.
She was labeled as a difficult teenager and was sometimes physically abused. She struggles with anxiety, depression and has been clinically diagnosed as bipolar, a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings.
“When I stayed with my dad, I would be left alone,” she said. “When I was in middle school, I told a teacher about what was happening, and she offered to take me in. My eighth-grade teacher and her husband offered me a place to stay. It was the first time I knew what being a family was like. I stayed with them until I was a junior in high school. Then, I went back to live with my dad.”
In 2016, the year Kelley graduated from Monroe High School, her mom went to prison for retail fraud. She was then living with a friend, Olivia, and together they went to Baker College in Owosso. Kelley stayed one semester before returning to Monroe.
“I wanted to become a social worker, but there was an issue with money for school and things didn’t work out, so I moved back here,” she said.
Finding a permanent place to stay was still a challenge. She temporarily lived in a trailer in Newport, then with an aunt before they were evicted. Over the years, she’s tried to support herself. She worked at McDonald’s and a nursing home but has never been able to secure a place of her own.
In 2018, while staying with a friend, she met Dawson Daykin, the father of her three children. Their relationship is unstable. During one of their break-ups, Daykin met another woman and subsequently had a child with her. They are now living together while Kelley searches for a place to live.
“We keep moving from place to place. A friend paid for us to stay in a hotel, and we’ve slept in a car,” she said. “You never expect to be homeless and coming to the shelter was very scary for me. Being with strangers, I didn’t know what to expect and I have trust issues.”
They arrived at the shelter on Nov. 3 and it’s been somewhat difficult for the children to adjust. Violet refers to the shelter as “The Place.”
There are two rooms at the shelter allocated for families. The family of four stay in their own room. Kelley and her daughter sleep on bunk beds while her sons sleep in pack and play portable cribs. They have been provided with clothing and hygiene products to use. The single mother is working with a case manager.
“Before I came to the shelter, I was working with MCOP for a place to live. My application was approved, but I was told the funding had run out. I call every day to see if there is a place for us to go,” she said. “They’re probably getting tired of me calling but I’m trying to make things better for me and my children.”
She hopes to enroll Violet in a Head Start program and find daycare for Daylen and Rylo so that she can go to work.
Knowing that the holiday season will likely be spent with strangers, Kelley will continue to look for housing.
“I’m hoping we'll get a home of our own before Christmas gets here,” she said.
Kelley desperately wants to provide her children with a home that is safe – a place she never knew as a child.
The Oaks Shelter, 1018 E. Second St., offers help to more than 500 homeless each year. The 75-bed facility has separate floors for men, and women and children. Clients typically stay 90 days but longer stays are available as needed.
This article originally appeared on The Monroe News: Faces of Monroe’s homeless: Romy’s story
