Fact-Checking Grimes's Viral Wellness Routine

Kimberly Truong
Fact-Checking Grimes's Viral Wellness Routine

Together. [INAUDIBLE] I don't know how to do this. You got it. You're doing it, you're doing it. Eli. Over the shoulder Jen.

When it comes to celebrity wellness routines, you'd think Gwyneth Paltrow takes the cake on out-there regimens (remember the jade eggs?). However, singer Grimes may just snatch Gwyn's crown with her self-reported "training regimen," which sounds exhausting, tbh.

On Monday, she posted an Instagram about her routine to promote Stella McCartney's Adidas collaboration, of which she is the face. In summation, here is her approach:

1. Maintaining a "cellular routine" with "NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc."

2. Hours (2-4) spent in a sensory deprivation tank.

3. Sword-fighting.

4. Inclined hiking.

5. Stretching.

6. Screaming (which, to be honest, sounds pretty cathartic).

7. Eliminating "all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression."

8. Using a humidifier in the bedroom.

View this post on Instagram

ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regimen ? GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions - past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on. #asmc #adidasparley #createdwithadidas #gentrifymordor

A post shared by MISS ANTHROPOCENE (@grimes) on Jul 15, 2019 at 4:33pm PDT

There's a lot to unpack here, but if you're thinking that supposed eye surgery is absolutely wild, you're not the only one.

While yes, it can be a good idea to decrease the amount of time spent looking at blue light emitted from our screens, Rahul Khurana, MD, clinical spokesperson for the American Academy of Ophthalmology, says such a procedure is not actually possible.

"There is no legitimate eye surgery available to eliminate blue light, nor a reason to eliminate all blue light," Dr. Khurana tells InStyle. "The sun is the largest source of blue light in our environment."

RELATED: Elon Musk and Grimes Make Their Couple Debut, but How Did They First Meet?

It can be hard to decipher what's real and what's not on the internet these days, but rest assured there's a reason why Grimes is so well-known for her performance art. The humidier probably isn't a bad idea, though.