Faith: Find freedom in living as God uniquely made you
I like to remind people at times that I was born into this world with three strikes; I’m a woman, I’m Black and I’m queer. There is never a time when I’m not defending one side of me against the other.
When the reversal of Roe v. Wade occurred this summer, I felt as though my rights as a woman were stripped from me. While still gasping for breath, the leading opinion from Justice Clarence Thompson cited that the right for LGBT individuals to marry should be next on the chopping block.
Not only do I walk out of my home in fear that I might not make it back because of the simple fact that I’m Black in America, now I don’t have control over my own body, and I can’t love anyone fully. My mind began to question, why does the world hate me? Feeling overwhelmed, confused, and even depressed, I retreated from social media and wrestled with God … and my existence.
There were days when I simply slept the day away and contemplated suicide because who is really standing by my side? Who really loves me? Am I a mistake? I’m either defending my right to live a full life as a Black American in this country with laws restricting my right to vote, code-switching to interact with people at work and watching the ongoing massacres of Black bodies on television.
Or I'm arguing with a man who doesn’t understand a thing about how the woman body works, fighting for equal pay and ceaselessly answering the dumbest question ever, “what do you bring to the table?” as if a woman’s only worth is to be his slave. And let’s not forget I have to constantly defend my right to simply love someone.
On top of that, there’s the repetitive convincing of family members that my lesbian lifestyle isn’t my attempt to “become a man” and objecting to the idiotic statement that LGBTQIA+ individuals have a “gay agenda.”
When do I get to come up for air? When and where can I have peace? It was in the midst of this litany of internal questioning that I was reminded that I was part of a unique club.
Noah was a drunk, Moses was a murderer, Rahab was a prostitute, Saul/Paul was a murderer before writing two-thirds of the New Testament, David was a murderer and adulterer, Peter was arrogant, The Samaritan woman was of a different race and divorced several times, Thomas was a doubter … I can go on and on.
Every person we reference in our Christian Bible were outcast in society, and yet God redeemed their story for His glory, His purpose and can do so again … even at a time such as this.
Growing up Southern Baptist, I’ve heard the following verse many times: “… in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33). For some reason, this verse came to me one day while I was in the shower, but this time … it hit differently. Suddenly John 15:18 also came to mind, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first."
It was like I was receiving a heavenly download of encouragement as I was reminded that my worth doesn’t lie in the thoughts of those around me, but in what my Heavenly Father thinks of me. He calls me loved, worthy, His child, a light, salt of the earth, blessed and courageous … just to name a few.
Embolden by my new discovery, I went back to church with a sense of freedom covering me. No more condemnation, there was nothing anyone could say or do to deny me the truth: that I am here for a reason and my life, my existence matters.
I now walk around with a new swag and my crown held high because I have the honor of living out the words of John 8:36, “who the Son sets free, is truly free indeed.”
For anyone who finds themselves at the same crossroads of pain that I left behind, welcome to the club. Be free and show the world who God made you to be and know that the first step to doing good together is to first recognize the love and freedom that we hold within ourselves.
If we can’t show up as our true selves, we can’t love authentically.
Chayla Cooper (she/her) is a non-denominational Christian, CEO of Sleeq Productions and an Austin-based author, musician and public speaker. Doing Good Together is compiled by Interfaith Action of Central Texas, interfaithtexas.org.
This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Find freedom in living as God uniquely made you
