Faith: Jesus teaches what it means to be a good friend

Close friends are treasures for our lives and each day of them. Is anything more important than close friendship for support, enhancing meaning in life, personal wellness, good health and just pure fun? Investing time in giving and receiving the best of friendship reaps substantial rewards that progressively bloom into a wonderful life, whatever the duration of our mortality.

Jesus the human being has a lot to teach not only his followers but everyone. As a Christian, I seek to both follow and worship him. The two are intertwined, but sometimes, worshipping can overshadow the more important faith component of response action in daily living.

For anyone, Jesus the person in his teachings and life is a model for authentic living. For Christians, one danger in deification is to lose sight of what we should learn from Jesus the man as he lived in his time. In my opinion, the opposite should be true. Elevation of his status intensifies the value in mining his life and teachings as sources of authentic wisdom in how we should live. That is what following him means. The New Testament Gospels emphasize that he repeatedly implored his disciples to “Follow me” (Mark 1:17).

I look for the practical in everything faith related. If an aspect of faith does not translate into life applicability, then it is hard to appreciate the value of it.

We do not often hear about the importance of friendship in Jesus’s life. Yet, the Gospels explicitly and implicitly indicate he had a close circle of diverse friends that added immense value to his life.

As in so many aspects of his life, Jesus’s inclusivity, dependance upon others, and being a great friend himself offer a stellar model. It is also one that flies in the face of so many aspects of our current culture, such as group-centric exclusivity, demonization of others, exaggeration of differences and violence.

In the paternalistic and male dominant culture of Jesus' time, Jesus’ close circle of friends included women and men, as well as rich and poor. Among his apostles, Peter, James and John appear to be his closest friends. They were with him in high points, such as when he was transfigured in the presence of God, Moses and Elijah on the high mountain (Mark 9:2-8), and in his darkest times, such as the Garden of Gethsemane before his death (Mark 14:32-42). They might have fallen asleep at the latter time from exhaustion, but he wanted them there. Importantly, they were with him.

His closest circle similarly included many women, such as Mary Magdalene, his mother Mary, Salome and his unnamed aunt (John 19:25 and Mark16:1). Such women were his disciples, provided for his needs, were at the foot of the cross when he died, and courageously went to his tomb after his death to grieve and honor him with customary burial practices.

It is widely known that Jesus was a champion of justice for the poor and oppressed, and many of his aforementioned closest friends were poor. Yet, although Jesus warned of dangers associated with wealth, he had some apparently wealthy close friends. These included Joseph of Arimathea, Nicodemus and Joanna, the wife of King Herod’s steward.

Joseph and Nicodemus were members of the Jewish Council, many of whom opposed Jesus in the intra-Jewish controversies related to Jesus that cost him his life. Joseph and Nicodemus were very prominent Jewish leaders who befriended Jesus. Joseph was his disciple (and potentially Nicodemus), and both boldly went to Pilate to ask for his body and to honor him according to custom in his death (John 19:38-42). Joanna, a woman of wealth and influence (her husband was Chuza, Herod’s steward), was also among Jesus’s followers (Luke 8:3).

Jesus not only received the companionship and other benefits of close friends, he was also the best of friends. In his dying breaths on the cross, he asked his close friend John and his mother and friend Mary to truly be as if mother and son after he died (John 19:26-27). Thus, as his last words and action in his earthly life, Jesus’s primary concern was the welfare of his friends and family.

In his post-resurrection appearance accounts, his major emphases to his grieving and fearful friends included giving and wishing them “peace” and promising to be “with” them always (John 20:19, 21,and 26; Matthew 28:20).

What a wonderful model for us to follow. Being “with” someone and providing peace in all seasons of life are two of the most prominent aspects of being someone’s close friend, without a care for variation in monetary or social status or other differences.

Walt Shelton is the author of the Nautilus Award winning book, "The Daily Practice of Life: Practical Reflections Toward Meaningful Living" (CrossLink Publishing 2020), and "Authentic Living in All Seasons: Focused, Fearless, and Balanced"(CrossLink Publishing 2022). He is a long-time professor at Baylor Law School, and leads discussion groups, including in association with The Church at Highland Park in Austin. waltshelton.com

This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Faith: Jesus teaches what it means to be a good friend