'Faith is living without scheming': How an old news article captured my mother's purpose | Opinion
Recently, I decided to send some thoughts about my mom to The Tennessean opinion and editorial editor David Plazas. I have never had anything published but I had been thinking about life and writing a few memories and thoughts on Facebook and a blog. The 1699 word count writing contained memories of a visit in 1968 with my mom to one of her families at Christmas. David said he was interested in printing my story, but please cut the piece down to 600 words. I am a talker, this was hard but I did it. The story was published. I was kinda thrilled.
A few days later, David emailed asking if I had a photo of my mom at her work as a Metro Nashville Social Worker. This was a long shot. I asked my sisters, no photos of mom in her work setting existed to our knowledge. I searched our photo books. No photo fit this bill. My mother was loving but not sentimental about photos, there are barely any childhood photos of me as the third child, so very, very few of her at all.
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A trip to the library
On a long shot, I went to my local library to see if there were any “microfiche” files from Nashville schools. The librarian, Christine, a new angel in my life, helped me look online. Christine did not laugh at me when I inquired about microfiche but she did tell me that all archives have now been now put online. She also told me that she loved this kind of inquiry and she loved doing this kind of research. Who knew people loved doing this? We were however, at a dead end. My mother worked in elementary schools in the 1960’s - 80’s and these schools did not publish yearbooks. I left the library with nothing.
About an hour later, I received a call from Christine asking me to return to the library. She had found an article about my mother. I. Was. Dumbstruck. “What? An article? There was never a newspaper article about my mom!” I told Christine as I stood in line at Dillards.
Christine asked me to please come back to the library. I put down my items to purchase, left the store and headed back to the library and Christine’s desk. Christine was waiting for me with a print out, I looked at the document. There, in black and white, is a large photo of my mom, Lyvonne Gray, standing by a swing listening to a teenage girl. I cannot read the article or the title because I have begun crying involuntarily, huge big sobs. I have never seen this photo. No one ever mentioned this article and it is beautiful and she is beautiful and it was written one year before my birth,
April 1958. My dad, a civil engineer, was meticulous with saving letters and important documents. Did my parents even know this was ever printed? I look over and see the other librarian is smiling, Christine is smiling. I try to get my composure. “I never knew about this article, about this photo.” I whisper.
Faith is living without scheming
It is a benediction, I can feel my mother looking down on me smiling. In the article she is concerned about the mental health of teenage girls. Their support systems, mostly mothers, are wearing thin as mothers cannot bear the many loads expected of them. The article states that mom has 107 students on her caseload. How. Did. She. Do. It?
I leave the library and call my sisters, crying again, explaining the article, the photo, the miracle of my discovery. Then I quiet down and think of this miraculous warm feeling I have. I think of one of my favorite sayings, Faith is living without scheming.
Yes, I received this benediction, I didn’t scheme, or control or try to manage. This article was waiting for me and my sisters a new look at our beautiful mom, ever consistent in her life as a school social worker. Living her life, day by day, helping others, with no scheming.
Celeste Holt is a native Nashvillian, special education teacher and swim instructor.
This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Opinion: How an old newspaper article captured my mother's purpose
