'Falling for Christmas' on Netflix has Lindsay Lohan going for it, and not much else

It’s easy to make fun of the syrupy Christmas movies that clog networks and streaming services this time of year, but every now and then one comes along that rises above the holiday treacle and really makes an impression.

“Falling for Christmas” is not one of those movies.

The film, directed and co-written by Janeen Damian, is a by-the-book holiday bauble of the sort that you can tell exactly what will happen five minutes into it, and your suspicions will be amply rewarded.

But “Falling for Christmas,” which streams on Netflix on Nov. 11, has one thing going for it that all those other ho-ho-ho Hallmark movies (and others of similar ilk) do not.

It has Lindsay Lohan.

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Does that make it good? Oh no. No, no, a thousand times no. It’s sappy, nonsensical and derivative. It’s not any good at all.

But thanks to Lohan, it is interesting. At least a little.

It’s been a few years since Lohan acted. And the few films and TV series she has made in recent years, like “The Canyons” and “Sick Note,” are not exactly feel-good holiday fare. It would be intriguing to report that she brings a little of that grit and edge, to put it diplomatically, to “Falling for Christmas,” or maybe something like her portrayal of Cady Heron in the iconic “Mean Girls.”

Alas, no. The edges are blurred into snowy soft focus. Jingle bells, jingle bells, this is pabulum all the way.

Lohan plays Sierra Belmont, a spoiled woman whose father (Jack Wagner) owns a luxury ski lodge and slopes. He has created a job for her — vice president of atmosphere — which she worries is “not even a real job.”

You don’t say.

Sierra shows signs of champing at the bit of privilege, saying things like, “I need to make my own mark in the world,” which is the level of dialogue we’re talking about here.

That’ll be difficult, however, because she is dating Tad (George Young), a self-centered fellow who makes an exorbitant living as “one of Hype magazine’s top influencers.” He’s the sort who hangs up in the middle of a call with Sierra because he’s trending down and needs to take another selfie.

“In the coffee shops of life,” he tells her father, “Sierra is a venti.”

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Chord Overstreet plays the down-home by-the-book charmer

Meanwhile Jake Russell (Chord Overstreet), the owner of a run-down-but-charming smaller ski lodge, courts Sierra’s father as an investor, to no avail. He is a widower, with an adorable daughter, Avy (Olivia Perez). He accidentally spills cocoa on Sierra’s designer outfit and gee, can you guess where this might lead?

Long story short: Tad whisks Sierra off into the snowy forest for a picture-perfect (in other words, shareable) romantic gesture. They get separated, Sierra hits her head and boom! The greatest of all romantic plot devices kicks in.

Amnesia.

Yes! Sierra winds up in the care of Jake, hits it off with Avy, learns how to do things like wash clothes and make beds and, while she’s at it, discovers what is really important in life, even though she can’t remember the spoiled brat she once was. Good thing, probably.

Meanwhile Tad and a grizzled old poacher named Ralph (Sean Dillingham) forge their way through the forest, which seems like a parallel plot line until the movie ignores them for a big chunk.

At one point sainted Jake says, “What we need is a miracle.” To which Avy replies, “Haven’t you heard, Dad? Christmas is a time for miracles.”

Yeah, Dad. Geez. Haven’t you heard? Don’t you know how movies like this go? Because everyone else does.

Lohan plays it all straight, seemingly happy to tone things down. Which is fine. Everyone else just seems to be happy to be in a movie, Young especially. The broader the better, as far as he’s concerned.

Without Lohan, “Falling for Christmas” would be another of the near-anonymous morass of holiday movies so prevalent during the season. Even with her it’s not much more.

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'Falling for Christmas' 1.5 stars

Great ★★★★★ Good ★★★★

Fair ★★★ Bad ★★ Bomb ★

Director: Janeen Damian.

Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Chord Overstreet, George Young.

Rating: Not rated.

Note: Streaming on Netflix on Nov. 11.

Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. Twitter: @goodyk. Subscribe to the weekly movies newsletter.

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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Lindsay Lohan holiday movie 2022: How to watch 'Falling for Christmas'