Family grieves tragic loss by giving back

Mar. 8—LENOIR — One year after the tragic suicide of 14-year-old Isaiah Ferree, his family continues to give back to the community while struggling to endure their own grief.

Isaiah was a freshman honors student at West Caldwell High School, where he played football, wrestled, and was in the band. He spent a lot of time in the Gamewell Optimist Club's youth sports programs as a volunteer, coach, and player. He was also in the Boy Scouts.

Isaiah killed himself on March 11, 2022.

"Over the last year, we have tried to allow this tragedy to change how we live," said Scott Ferree, Jr., Isaiah's father.

Scott currently volunteers for various organizations throughout Caldwell County, such as coaching Gamewell Optimist Club's football and basketball leagues, and he is also on the club's board of directors.

Last year, Gamewell Optimist Club named its championship tournament weekend in Isaiah's honor. This year, Scott and his wife, Renee Vickers Ferree, in partnership with Gamewell Optimist Club, awarded a $2,500 scholarship to Dawson "DJ" Winters, a senior athlete who, according to his mother, plans to attend CCC&TI in the fall to complete the HVAC program.

Throughout the year, Scott and his family have organized a number of community engagement activities. The Kindness Campaign was started last year in the two weeks leading up to Isaiah's birthday on April 27.

"We wanted to do 54 acts of kindness, since 54 was his jersey number," Scott said. "We ended up with 312 acts of kindness from the community. That's a beautiful thing."

On Facebook, several members of the community have posted their own acts of kindness under #TheKindnessCampaign. Some people performed acts of kindness such as paying for everyone's meal at a restaurant, helping an elderly woman cover her grocery bill, and even taking the time to talk to their children about suicide and mental health in remembrance of Isaiah and his family.

Another program Scott and Renee have created is "Ferree's Footprints." During the 2022 fall basketball season, Scott and Renee purchased 22 pairs of signature athlete shoes and donated them to one kid from every team in the basketball program.

Saturday will mark the one-year anniversary of Isaiah's death.

"Somehow, over the last year, it went from shock and disbelief to, 'This is our new reality,' " said Renee. "It's sunk in. It's not worse, but it's a different level of pain. There's something about this one year that drives home the fact that it's permanent."

The family plans to spend the weekend camping at Cherokee.

"Our family always went to Cherokee to camp, Isaiah loved it, so we wanted to go to a place where we have a lot of good memories of him and as a family," said Scott.

After Isaiah's death, Scott decided to quit his corporate job to focus on his and his family's recovery and mental health. As school season started back up, he reached out to the schools where his younger children attend and discovered they desperately needed substitute teachers. Now, he substitutes at Gamewell Middle and Elementary two days a week, and he said he finds it very enjoyable and rewarding.

"You can't control the tragedies that take place in your life, but we want to respond in a way that stewards our pain well, brings exposure to a taboo topic, and leads the community to navigate mental health in a healthier way," said Scott. "It helps us feel like we're not moving on, like in some strange way, his legacy remains. He was a remarkable kid, a great kid, and I think if he had stayed he would have made a great impact."

"We want everybody to know, all the things we're doing for the community, that helps us with our grief," said Renee. "It helps us honors our son in the way we remember him. There is a hole in our hearts and in our lives ... It's hard to find joy sometimes, but we're doing the best we can. We don't want anybody to forget about him. Keeping him alive is important to us."

Suicide is a serious public health problem among all age groups, but especially among youth. In 2020, suicide was the second-leading cause of death among those ages 10-24 and 25-34.

According to America's Health Rankings, a United Health Foundation, youth suicidal ideation, attempt and completion are on the rise across the country. Results from the 2019 Youth Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System show that 18.8% of high school students seriously considered attempting suicide and 8.9% actually attempted suicide.

The teen suicide rate is higher among males than females, although females reportedly attempt suicide more often than males. American Indian/Alaska Native adolescents have a higher suicide rate by an extreme margin compared with other racial and ethnic groups. White adolescents have a higher suicide rate compared with Asian/Pacific Islander, Hispanic and Black adolescents. Suicide attempts are also typically higher among students who identify as LGBTQ+ compared with students who identify as heterosexual.

In North Carolina, from 2018 to 2020, there were 9.4 teen deaths by suicide per 100,000 adolescents ages 15-19. Across the U.S., that number is 10.8. Among male teens, there were 14.8 suicides from 2018 to 2020, and only 3.8 female suicides.

For more information, visit www.americashealthrankings.org or go to youth.gov to find several resources that may be used to prevent youth suicide.

The Suicide Prevention organization suggests that the best thing a parent can do for their child is to talk to them directly about their feelings and ask them if they are having suicidal thoughts. Keep communication open and understanding. Other ways include setting up a meeting with a guidance counselor, either with or without the parent at first, to help them with depression and/or suicidal thoughts.

There are resources available for anyone who is suffering from any kind of mental health crisis.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached 24/7 by calling or texting 988.

The Girls & Boys Town National Hotline's phone number is 1-800-448-3000.

The National Youth Crisis Hotline can be reached at 1-800-442-HOPE (4673).

The North Carolina Hopeline can be reached by calling 919-231-4525 or 1-877-235-4525. Their website is www.hopeline-nc.org.

The RHA Health Services Inc. Mobile Crisis Response Team is available 24/7 for residents of Caldwell County at 1-888-573-1006.