‘My family is not the same anymore.’ Palm Desert woman mourns relative killed in Israel

Rachel Glisko’s nephew Itay was less than a year away from finishing his three-year service in the Israel Defense Forces, and as a U.S. dual citizen, the 20-year-old planned to return to the United States to study and travel with his aunt once his military duty was done.

“He said, ‘In 10 months, I’m coming back, I’m coming to you. You’re going to take me to Vegas, take me to New York. I’m going to take you everywhere,’” Rachel said, her voice breaking as she recalled the phone call.

Rachel, who lives in Palm Desert with her husband and two daughters, has most of her family in Israel, where she grew up. Last weekend, as she heard early reports of Hamas militants in Gaza carrying out a cross-border attack into nearby Israeli towns, her family’s group chat lit up.

Itay Glisko, her only family member in active duty for IDF, responded in the group chat Saturday, telling his family that he was OK and not to worry. Later that day, he sent another message to his cousin saying that he was fighting and taking care of soldiers wounded in the initial terrorist attacks.

On Sunday, Rachel said, the family didn’t hear from him.

A few days later, Israeli soldiers came to the home of Itay’s parents to relay the news: Their 20-year-old son was murdered in the Hamas attacks that killed more than 1,300 people in Israel last weekend. Itay, who grew up in New Jersey, was among 27 American citizens killed in the Hamas assaults that were carried out during a major Jewish holiday.

At 1 a.m. in California on Friday, Rachel watched Itay’s funeral in Israel, which she said drew about 3,500 attendees. Speaking with The Desert Sun later that morning, she described sleepless nights and constant crying since the attacks on her homeland began last weekend.

“My brother and sister-in-law, they are broken,” Rachel said. “Now, we have to pick up the pieces and continue with life. I don’t know how we are going to do it. ... My family is not the same anymore.”

Her family is among many locally and around the world who are grieving from the recent attacks and airstrikes. Roughly 1,300 people in Israel were killed in the Hamas attacks last weekend — along with about 150 abducted by Hamas — and roughly 1,800 people had been killed in the Gaza territory in the week-long war. Officials say most of the Israelis and Palestinians who've been killed were civilians.

Local community's grief ‘very palpable’

Rachel recalled Itay as someone who “always had a smile on his face” and was more than willing to help out with any task, such as cooking for IDF soldiers when he was growing up.

The Glisko family was unsure exactly how Itay was killed, as they have not seen his body. Itay was based at a military post near the Gaza border, and Rachel said his parents hope to someday visit the site where he was killed to glean more answers.

Rachel, who hasn’t been to Israel in about five years, wanted to attend Itay’s funeral Friday in person, but her calls to the U.S. consulate were unsuccessful. Several major airlines suspended their service to Israel this week.

Unable to go back to Israel, Rachel has been leaning on the Coachella Valley’s Jewish community. A member of Chabad of Rancho Mirage, she credited her friends and Rabbi Shimon Posner for being there “hugging us” through their grief. She also received condolences from U.S. Rep. Ken Calvert, R-Corona, that she was grateful for.

The events in Israel led police in Palm Springs and Palm Desert to conduct additional patrols of synagogues this week due to online threats against Jewish people. Several events were planned Friday night across the valley for Shabbat, the Jewish sabbath. They included a “Stand with Israel” event at Temple Isaiah in Palm Springs.

The week-long war has caused lots of anger, fear and anxiety within local Jewish congregations. Rabbi Steven Rosenberg, the leader of Temple Isaiah, said many people in his congregation have friends living in Israel.

“There’s only 15 million Jews in the world, so it is very common when there’s a tragedy in Israel, somebody knows somebody who’s affected by it,” Rosenberg said. “The connection and the grief are very palpable.”

The Hamas attacks drew a major military response from Israel, which has conducted airstrikes in Gaza over the past week while sealing off food and water supplies into the territory. On Friday, Palestinians fled from northern Gaza after Israel’s military told about 1 million people to evacuate south, the same day Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu vowed to destroy Hamas in a speech. On Saturday, The New York Times quoted the United Nations saying hundreds of thousands of people — close to half Gaza's total population of 2 million — had been displaced and were struggling to find food, water and shelter.

Rosenberg said he has “a lot of empathy” for people living in Gaza under the rule of Hamas, which has been deemed a terrorist organization by the U.S. government.

“Palestinian people have been betrayed by Hamas,” Rosenberg said. “They’re having to pay for it, which is terrible. But the only way they’ll have a better life is for Hamas to not be around.”

“All these people, the innocents that have died and will continue to die (in Gaza), those deaths are on Hamas,” he added.

Rosenberg said many of his members fear the prospect of a prolonged war, given many know younger family members and others serving in the Israeli miliary. Despite the anxieties, Rosenberg said he was encouraging the local community to show pride in their faith and to “keep our lights on.”

“There’s a sense that they don’t know what to do. They’re feeling very powerless,” Rosenberg said. “I tell my congregation: The best thing we can do is to come together as a community to ensure we continue to be a strong, vibrant community that will not cower in the face of evil.”

Rachel — who emphasized that her nephew was murdered just for being Jewish — was similarly unafraid to continue practicing her religion. “I’m proud to be Jewish,” she said. “I’m here, and there’s nothing they can do.”

As she and the rest of her family attempt to pick up the pieces from their loss, they are asking people in the local community to do extra acts of kindness in Itay’s memory in the coming days.

“He was brave,” Rachel recalled of her nephew. “His dad said today, ‘I raised him to be a fighter I raised him to do good deeds and to help people.’ That’s true – That’s what he did.”

This story includes reporting from the Associated Press and The New York Times.

Tom Coulter covers the cities of Palm Desert, La Quinta, Rancho Mirage and Indian Wells. Reach him at thomas.coulter@desertsun.com.

This article originally appeared on Palm Springs Desert Sun: Palm Springs-area families mourn relatives lost in Israel-Hamas war