When the famous make us think about our own lives

While it might seem odd to say so, not enough has been discussed and written about the Oscar night slap.

From my perspective, observing the actions of public figures sometimes provides a moment for personal reflection. Whether it’s Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s strength, or in contradistinction, Will Smith’s meltdown, let’s not waste such moments.

With due allowance for my stretching to make a point — there is an historical comparison to aspects of the slap. In January of 1941 an international hero, aviator Charles Lindbergh, who was adored by virtually all Americans after his solo flight across the Atlantic in May of 1927, became infamous. He did so relatively suddenly, by going to Germany to accept an award from Hitler’s right-hand man, Herman Goring, and making anti-semitic comments.

His descent from international hero was slower than Will Smith’s likely descent. But like Lindbergh, Smith has some people around him who in my estimation may well bear some of the responsibility. Let’s be clear — as history reports it, Lindbergh was clearly wrong and responsible. As today’s media reports it, Smith is also clearly wrong and responsible.

But there is much more to both stories.

At the time of his demise, Lindbergh was the son of a lawyer and U.S. Congressman, the son-in-law of a powerful Senator, and the husband of a brilliant poet, Anne Morrow Lindbergh. From reading Scott Berg’s biography, “Lindbergh,” l have a question, the answer to which is both complex, and possibly relevant to both the Oscar night slap and our lives in general:

Where were the loved ones?

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot was right when she said a few days ago, in regard to the violence permeating her city, "There are too many young people in this room that feel unloved, and we need to change that if we are going to change the trajectory of their lives."

We all need mentors. We need them at every stage of our life. When we are mere babies, hopefully it’s our parents who help us to learn the basics. Then it’s the neighbors who see our first smiles and hopefully respond with affection. As we grow to teenagers it’s critical that along with our parents we have great teachers, in the classroom, on the ballfield, even on the playground.

One afternoon long ago, a track coach told me I was a poor broad jumper. But as he was also my history teacher, he told me that I was great at history. I remember that moment in 1963 as if it was yesterday. He gave me a mid-course correction coupled with a complement — two loving gifts. Later, I found being a coach was one of my most memorable moments as a mentor.

When we face the challenge of intimacy, it’s then that finding a lifelong reciprocal mentor can be a true blessing.

We don’t typically succeed or fail alone.

Where were Lindbergh's relatives in Congress or his wife when the first signs of problems emerged?

Today we should ask, where were Will Smith’s family, friends, or his wife at those first signs?

I have read many insightful comments on the slap, several of which have focused on what I think is one of the most intriguing aspects of the event: what it says about at least one modern marriage. Based on my reading and my parents’ comments, I have nothing but respect for Anne Morrow Lindbergh, and believe they had a good marriage. However, after being married for many years, I believe a key attribute to a good marriage is being able and willing to recognize problems and warn your spouse when needed. That’s close-in and invaluable mentoring — something we all need. It’s called love.

In Will Smith’s case, part of the problem may well be his wife.

I found many YouTube comments, valid or not, worthy of reflection. One called Smith’s wife a narcissist, and Smith emasculated, seeking respect.

Another was also quite vivid: "So you can cheat on your husband, force him to pretend to be fine with it, fall in love with another man, and still somehow be off limits to all jokes? Damn this woman has some serious privileges. We laugh at men for hair loss all the time..."

These and other YouTube-like comments, reflect some disturbing issues that may have been in play decades ago with Lindbergh, and might be present today.

Finally, I offer my own near-Will Smith moments. I have been guilty a few times of making a scene at a gathering that revealed some significant and largely misplaced anger. Luckily the anger didn’t turn violent. But when I saw the scene with the Will Smith slap, I recalled such moments — with complex regrets.

Tough stuff — worthy of reflections.

Contact Larry Little at larrylittle46@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on Kitsap Sun: Larry Little: When public figures prod some personal reflection