Fifth Friday? Fire up far-flung fripperies
Fifth Friday footnotes, follow-ups and far-flung fripperies:
Humpty Dumpty went over easy.
What if trash pickup was unlimited and free — or even less than free? If bounties were paid for collected litter, would everyone’s mood brighten?
Do back-up cameras make us better drivers or worse? Discuss.
Hot water mist-ifies me. Hard water petrifies me.
Does everyone tuck in the sheets at the foot of their bed?
Why can’t government acknowledge and rescind failed regulations? Parking spaces designated for compact cars are ignored. Emotional support animal certifications are more abused than used.
The pandemic has made remote workers more productive and less enterprising. Taken together, it’s a net loss.
Has anyone else noticed how air travel resembles incarceration? Where else are we subject to seemingly random rules, enforced with absolute authority?
Is narcissism a label invented by average people so they feel better about themselves?
Can we be lonely together? Does that make it better or worse?
It's such a fine line between being held and being held hostage.
Too much of what we call entertainment these days is merely spectacle. No human connections are fostered.
I'm leaving soon for my first trip in several years. Are places still pretty far apart? (My Zoom screen is 13 diagonal inches.)
Do visitors stay at, in or on the Virgin Islands? This is the sort of question that keeps me up at night.
Imagine my discomfort warning dark-skinned immigrants to avoid pickup trucks waving American flags.
Why are there so few leather throw pillows?
If you're a busybody, chances are yours isn’t.
You can't always dodge the bullet. Sometimes you gotta bite it.
What's the most generic common job title? Leading candidates: operator, actor, waiter, receptionist, associate, cashier.
Humanity's universal fear is that we'll run out of time. Every hesitation makes it more true.
I've found no effective way to divest myself of the privilege I've been granted. So I try to leverage it for the benefit of others.
What if Putin and Trump are essentially one person? (P could definitely fit inside T.) They inhabit each other's grievances with near perfection. Putin hated Hillary. Trump hates Zelensky. Exquisite simpatico or something more?
I've found that smokers are more often interesting people.
How did the inventor of the heated steering wheel not win a Nobel Prize?
If I seem not quite myself, that's because I am. I had my gallbladder removed.
Most liars are lazy.
My colonoscopy was performed at a local endoscopy clinic. That sounds right. (Park in the rear. Entrance around back.)
Precursor (n): clumsy handyman before he hammers a nail
Children are like ropes. They'll go to great lengths to lie around loosely, unless they're taut.
I'd pay more for a book if the price somehow included the time to read it.
Are audio books better for fiction or non-fiction? I’m genuinely curious.
In case of apocalypse, borrow a book. If the world collapses, you get to keep it! If not, you had something to read while waiting.
More of my thoughts lately seem to end with a parenthetical afterthought (and I don't know why).
Don Kahle (fridays@dksez.com) writes a column each Friday and Sunday for The Register-Guard and archives past columns at www.dksez.com.
This article originally appeared on Register-Guard: Regulations, narcissism, loneliness: Far-flung fripperies for Fifth Friday
