Former conservation officer shares stories of 25-year career

Jun. 13—If you ask Robert Lynn Steiner to share some tales from his 25-year career as a waterways conservation officer for the Pennsylvania Fish & Boat Commission, he could supply you with a steady stream of stories.

Some 253 of them, in fact.

Steiner, with the help of his wife, Linda, has compiled a book filled with brief snippets from his more than a quarter-century patrolling the waterways of Pennsylvania. Called "River Boots," the book is an eclectic mix of stories both humorous and more serious.

While his work primarily took place in Luzerene and Venango counties, Steiner was stationed in Meadville for part of his career, and his job took him to 31 counties in total, including Forest and Warren.

Taken as a whole, Steiner described his collection of stories as "CSI: Pymatuning meets Barney Miller," the latter referring to the 1970s police sitcom. Conservation officers are members of law enforcement, though Steiner's line of work mainly pertained to people fishing without a license or in unauthorized areas more often than dramatic police chases or hard detective work.

"When I first made the notes, I realized 'This is some serious stuff,'" Steiner said of writing his stories. "And then as I looked at it from the eyes of 25 years later, I thought 'There's nothing serious about this. This is funny.'"

In fact, Steiner said the "ugliest" part of his job was when he had to serve warrants "like a real cop."

Even the way Steiner got into the career field is an interesting story. While a young boy, his dad pointed toward a game warden and told him that was the kind of job he should pursue because "they don't work too hard." Later in sixth grade, Steiner wrote a letter to a Pennsylvania Fish Commission office asking what it took to become a fish warden, as the position was called back then.

According to Steiner, the reply he got told him that he needed to be a 23-year-old military veteran, between 5-foot, 8-inches and 6-foot, 6-inches tall, weighing between 165 and 250 pounds, with perfect eyesight and hearing. Taking the advice seriously, Steiner would join the United States Coast Guard 13 days after high school graduation, and it was only during his term of service that he talked to a personnel manager for the Fish Commission and found out he wouldn't even be old enough to meet the minimum age to be an officer by the time he finished his four-year enlistment.

Luckily, he was able to get a job with the commission in the hatchery system and, two years later, took the test to become a warden. The rest, so to say, is history.

For what his father termed an easy job, Steiner's career turned up plenty of unique and and interesting scenarios. One particular instance from Crawford County he can recall is when he was supposed to stake out some illegally deployed net in Linesville overnight. Unfortunately, he would end up battling sleepiness and a particularly sneaky fisherman.

"So I sat there and in the morning when they woke me up, my fellow officers, the net was gone," Steiner said with a laugh.

Another local story he remembers fondly is when a politician he termed "Senator Not Enough" said there wasn't enough law enforcement on Conneaut Lake. So Steiner and his wife, who was a deputy for the commission at the time, went out on patrol on the lake, tagging "flagrant, obvious boating violations."

"On Monday, he turned into 'Senator Had Plenty Now,'" Steiner said. "He completely changed his tune completely when he called. He said 'We had all the law enforcement we need for now, we had plenty.'"

Despite the many foibles and misadventures, Steiner loved his career and would do it all again if he could. That isn't to say he doesn't give his share of misgivings.

"I had the best job in the world," he said. "I retain the right to complain."

What's more, Steiner said his stories are something of a history book into what working in the Fish & Boat Commission was like from the 1970s to 1990s.

Retired in 1999, just a few years after he was named Pennsylvania Fish & Boat Commission Officer of the Year in 1993, Steiner spent years writing down the stories from his career, at first keeping them on floppy disk. It wasn't until the COVID-19 lockdowns that he and his wife had the time to get the stories off of his old computer hardware and compile them into what would become "River Boots."

For anyone who reads the many tales and turns of his career, he has only one single hope in mind.

"To find a laugh," he said.

Released in April, "River Boots" is available in both physical and digital formats.

Sean P. Ray can be reached at (814) 724-6370 or by email at sray@meadvilletribune.com.