Fort Bragg Military Spouse of the Year advocates for mental health of military families
FORT BRAGG — Military spouse and veteran Ashley Owings hopes to use lessons she’s learned from life’s setbacks to reach others.
Owings was named this year’s Armed Forces Insurance Fort Bragg Spouse of the Year.
According to a news release from the organization, nominations were accepted at the end of November until mid-January followed by nationwide voting to select spouses from 21 installations, with the Military Spouse of the Year selected from the 21 and announced in May.
"These spouses have pioneered initiatives, founded organizations, started businesses, and advocated for issues impacting the quality of life for military families in the best ways imaginable,” said Lori Simmons, chief marketing officer at Armed Forces Insurance.
Spouses were judged on five core criteria — overall involvement in the military community, leadership skills, community building capability, communication skills and overall personal story.
Speaking from her home state of Kentucky as she cares for her aunt with terminal cancer, Owings said she’s more focused on using the platform to reach others than the title.
Suicide awareness, mental health and infertility are all personal for Owings.
Growing up near Fort Knox, Kentucky and Louisville, Owings joined the Army National Guard after high school in 2008 and soon moved to Fort Bragg, where she stayed a few years until a new assignment. She returned again in 2012 after a spinal injury.
Family of the year: 'Best of the best:' Fort Bragg names Vona family as 2021 family of the year
Related: Fort Bragg spouse named North Carolina Military Spouse of the Year
She moved to Virginia Beach in 2013 and started working part-time at a restaurant in hopes to learn their secret queso recipe and learn Spanish.
Owings said she didn’t gain the Spanish skills but instead met her husband Jeremy, who is in the Navy, on Sept. 30, 2013.
Owings switched to the Navy Reserves in 2016 and remained with the service until she medically retired last year.
Infertility
As a military spouse, Owings said the most challenging years were fighting through infertility, along with family deaths and deployments.
Infertility, Owings said, was hard on the couple and their marriage.
She said with support from the Chris Kyle Foundation and Kyle's wife Taya — who prayed for her — she and her husband worked through counseling to put their marriage and each other first.
Since 2013, Owings said she had several infertility workups in Virginia Beach, where she went through painful, experimental tests.
The first place she went to was later shut down for malpractice, she said.
“Infertility was really hard on us, and we went through some tough times, but over the years we kept trying and sometimes that's all you can do, take the good days with the bad and just keep on trying,” Owings said.
In 2020 after two failed intrauterine insemination attempts and one round of in vitro fertilization, the couple learned Owings was pregnant with a little boy.
Helping others: Sweet as candy: How a Fort Bragg military child used candy to benefit Fayetteville's low-income population
'Our family': 'Fort Bragg is our family': How Cumberland County Schools and E.E. Smith are serving students
Owings said her husband recently told her he wished more military families knew about in vitro fertilization and options that will help pay for the procedure.
The military’s medical insurance, TRICARE, will cover infertility treatment testing and medications but does not cover intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization, Owings said.
However certain installations do offer discounts for the two procedures, she said.
Owings said she personally had four embryos — the first being her son, and another she wants to soon use.
Owings said she and her husband plan to donate their other two embryos to families who continue to struggle with infertility.
Self-care and mental health
Before Owings got pregnant, she said there were a few years that she struggled with weight gain and feeling unhappy after she injured her spine.
Yet she became determined to focus on herself and finished her bachelor's and master’s degrees in 2020 and 2021.
She decided to further put herself out there and do something she considered would be fun by entering the Mrs. North Carolina America pageant in the midst of her fertility treatments.
“I wasn't the tallest, skinniest or the prettiest; but, what I did have was heart, and I was able to spread awareness as Mrs. Eastern North Carolina 2020,” Owings said.
Owings said she advocates her own mental health, the mental health of military spouses and also the mental health of service members.
She said when she was first in the military, mental health was not openly discussed, and there were fears that talking about it would lead to losing security clearances.
Yet Owings said she thinks discussions should be considered because while she was in the Army, a few of her battle buddies died by suicide.
Related: 'It makes it personal': Why families of deployed 82nd Airborne Division paratroopers are concerned
When she switched to the Navy, Owings said she saw a need for suicide prevention programs that leadership told her weren’t needed.
“Unfortunately, we lost another service member before they changed their mind and allowed us to have the program,” she said.
Owings said once she left the military, suicide prevention is just as important, and she hopes others are considering that military spouses and children also struggle with suicidal thoughts, depression, postpartum depression or other mental health issues.
Owings said she’d like to see more people open up and have honest judge-free conversations.
She said she wants others to know that she struggled with feeling alone when she was unable to get pregnant. She’s said she’s struggled with self-confidence, weight, post partum depression, moving back to Fort Bragg and not knowing too many people in the midst of the pandemic or her husband’s deployments.
Supporting the military community
Owings said she wants other military spouses and families to know that they are not alone, and there are resources.
“There is no perfect person, spouse or perfect military spouse,” she said. “I've spent my whole life not being good enough in certain areas and that is OK, because I kept going and did things anyway for me. I took the time for me when I needed and rested when it was important to do so.”
Owings said helping others has been healing for her, and she hopes to bring other military spouses together in the future whether it’s with pampering events or infant and baby swim lessons so that spouses are supporting each other.
She said she frequently spreads the word about resources on her Facebook page, and is willing to answer questions of others who need help and would prefer sending a private message.
Staff writer Rachael Riley can be reached at rriley@fayobserver.com or 910-486-3528.
Huge savings: $1 for 6 months
Subscribe today to support local journalism and enjoy unlimited digital access including videos, apps, sports news, and more. Special introductory offer for new subscribers only.
This article originally appeared on The Fayetteville Observer: Fort Bragg Spouse of the Year named, advocates for mental health
