Foster parents give boy gift of language, family

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (WOOD) — Clinton and Michael McMurray officially became parents to an 11-year-old boy named Kaden during an adoption ceremony Monday in Kent County court.

Kaden is excited. He said of his dads, “I think that they’re really proud of me and that their favorite thing is that I filled their heart up.”

The McMurrays’ story transcends the traditional adoption journey in many ways. For Kaden, it started in silence and frustration.

Kaden started kindergarten at West Oakview Elementary School, part of Northview Public Schools. At the time, his biological mom had custody of him, but the state took over guardianship within the next year.

One of Kaden’s teachers, Anna Trupiano, remembers Kaden’s sweet disposition and his inability to communicate.

“He was always very friendly and smiley, but he couldn’t communicate at all — not ‘I need the bathroom’ or ‘my name is Kaden,'” Trupiano said. “He just kind of smiled and pointed. He had zero language.”

Kaden is deaf, and no one in his home knew sign language, so he had no way to identify objects, feelings or anything else.

West Oakview is the first school in the state of Michigan, outside of the School for Deaf and Hard of Hearing, to offer an intensive ASL classroom, which teaches students ASL through immersion. Kent ISD operates the elementary, though it is inside a Northview Public School building.

“Our program has looked at all of the research and decided that we have to take a really intensive approach to language deprivation. So we established these rooms where everyone in the room signs all day every day,” Trupiano explained. “…It’s because incidental learning is so important to language development.”

For Clinton McMurray, those first days at home were a challenge when it came to communication.

“It was a lot of pointing and screaming at things,” he said.

Clinton and Michael McMurray had recently married when Kaden came into their lives. They started taking classes to become foster parents right after their wedding, knowing that they one day wanted to foster to adopt, but they never imagined it would happen so quickly.

It wasn’t by chance that Kaden ended up in their home: Clinton McMurray is a teacher at Kaden’s school and an ASL interpreter, so he could help give Kaden the gift of language. Kaden moved in on March 2, 2020, about a week before the pandemic shut everything down.

“I would say that was probably one of the few positives that came out of everything shutting down and having to stay home. It was almost like a paternity leave, in that I got to stay home with him and we worked on language a lot. It took a long time for him to get to where he is now. And now his signing skills are incredible.”

Michael McMurray didn’t know ASL when he and Clinton married, but learning was a promise he made in his vows. That all kicked into high gear when Kaden moved in.

“I was very nervous, because Clinton is the fluent one in sign language. (He) was trying to tell me, ‘You guys are learning at the same level. You’ll progress at the same time,'” Michael McMurray explained.

He said Kaden has far surpassed him since then. And as for his concern that Kaden would bond with Clinton McMurray more quickly, Michael McMurray said, “Turns out I’m the fun one.”

Social workers told Clinton and Michael McMurray they were the only foster home in the state at the time with someone who was fluent in ASL.

Bob Wheaton, a representative with the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services, told News 8 they don’t keep data on individual homes in terms of language abilities, but he said, “MDHHS offers financial assistance to foster parents who need to complete specific training to meet the needs of a youth placed in their home.” He said there are approximately 3,600 families licensed to care for children unrelated to them.

For Michael McMurray, learning ASL alongside Kaden has had its funny moments.

“I tend to make mistakes, then he wants to laugh at me because … well, this is the sign for ‘happy,’ and then this is ‘birthday.’ But I confused them. … I went, ‘Happy woman,'” he said. “So then he was laughing at me. He’s like, ‘Dad signed happy woman instead of happy birthday.'”

Though the adoption ceremony was an important milestone, the McMurrays agree it doesn’t change anything. Kaden already calls them both Dad, and they already consider themselves a family. The change has already happened through the love — and language — they’ve given Kaden.

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