The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (July 8-14)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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I'm the butch in this household, but when it's time to stick a snake down a drain to unclog it, I'm standing up on top of the table screaming, like a cartoon '50s housewife who saw a mouse.
— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) July 13, 2023
I'm the butch in this household, but when it's time to stick a snake down a drain to unclog it, I'm standing up on top of the table screaming, like a cartoon '50s housewife who saw a mouse.
— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) July 13, 2023 ">
is Timothee Chalamet’s Wonka movie going to include the scene where influencers were invited to the factory on a brand trip
— lea chin-sang (@bigfatmoosepssy) July 12, 2023
is Timothee Chalamet’s Wonka movie going to include the scene where influencers were invited to the factory on a brand trip
— lea chin-sang (@bigfatmoosepssy) July 12, 2023 ">
me at 16: i am going to be so successful when i grow up
me now: maybe someday i will have enough energy to start a hobby— trash jones (@jzux) July 12, 2023
me at 16: i am going to be so successful when i grow up
me now: maybe someday i will have enough energy to start a hobby
— trash jones (@jzux) July 12, 2023 ">
me now: maybe someday i will have enough energy to start a hobby
Guys, I’m seeing peplum tops and statement necklaces in downtown DC with alarming frequency. Stay safe out there.
— hayley® (@hayleyalex) July 12, 2023
Guys, I’m seeing peplum tops and statement necklaces in downtown DC with alarming frequency. Stay safe out there.
— hayley® (@hayleyalex) July 12, 2023 ">
ur home should have at least one tiny table that is cluttered with items that have no relation to each other yet manage 2 tell a story
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) July 12, 2023
ur home should have at least one tiny table that is cluttered with items that have no relation to each other yet manage 2 tell a story
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) July 12, 2023 ">
I'm sorry if I have trust issues and seem skeptical most of the time, it's just that the world was supposed to end in 2012 per the ancient mayan calendar
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) July 13, 2023
I'm sorry if I have trust issues and seem skeptical most of the time, it's just that the world was supposed to end in 2012 per the ancient mayan calendar
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) July 13, 2023 ">
Me opening the Google Doc while the editor is in there pic.twitter.com/6FFWq6Jbw9
— J'na Jefferson (@jnajefferson) July 12, 2023
Me opening the Google Doc while the editor is in there pic.twitter.com/6FFWq6Jbw9
— J'na Jefferson (@jnajefferson) July 12, 2023 ">
boss: your coworker is concerned you don't like them
me: oh, I don't.
boss:
me: anything else?— 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖍 (@frigginfrench) July 10, 2023
boss: your coworker is concerned you don't like them
me: oh, I don't.
boss:
me: anything else?
— 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖍 (@frigginfrench) July 10, 2023 ">
me: oh, I don't.
boss:
me: anything else?
I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 13, 2023
I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 13, 2023 ">
hey chatgpt, define a “hot girl summer” pic.twitter.com/qLTnqFRpIO
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) July 9, 2023
hey chatgpt, define a “hot girl summer” pic.twitter.com/qLTnqFRpIO
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) July 9, 2023 ">
I hope this email finds you not cutting your own bangs.
— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) July 11, 2023
I hope this email finds you not cutting your own bangs.
— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) July 11, 2023 ">
?? Why would I have wanted a 4 x 6 mm print? Like why even have that option lol @cvspharmacypic.twitter.com/Kr1wpPAUTf
— sixers smasey (@SMASEY) July 13, 2023
?? Why would I have wanted a 4 x 6 mm print? Like why even have that option lol @cvspharmacypic.twitter.com/Kr1wpPAUTf
— sixers smasey (@SMASEY) July 13, 2023 ">
back in wisconsin for the first time in 6 months and i just said “ope sorry im gonna just squeeze past ya” to a ROOMBA. it’s like i never left.
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) July 13, 2023
back in wisconsin for the first time in 6 months and i just said “ope sorry im gonna just squeeze past ya” to a ROOMBA. it’s like i never left.
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) July 13, 2023 ">
Last night I found out what happens when you drink six margaritas.
— Cardi B (@iamcardib) July 12, 2023
Last night I found out what happens when you drink six margaritas.
— Cardi B (@iamcardib) July 12, 2023 ">
My friend Dave before a festival pic.twitter.com/MMpMZVacM1
— Hilary Agro 🍄 (@hilaryagro) July 13, 2023
My friend Dave before a festival pic.twitter.com/MMpMZVacM1
— Hilary Agro 🍄 (@hilaryagro) July 13, 2023 ">
Is 7am too early to start gnawing on a block of sharp cheddar?
— 𝐙𝖚𝖚𝖑 (@Vathighna) July 13, 2023
Is 7am too early to start gnawing on a block of sharp cheddar?
— 𝐙𝖚𝖚𝖑 (@Vathighna) July 13, 2023 ">
eating my girl dinner, taking my hot girl walk, listening to my sad girl music, reading my feral girl books, going out dancing with my girlianas, getting bevvies with my girlipops, every day a slow march towards death (Womanhood)...
— emma kupor! (@EmmaKupor) July 10, 2023
eating my girl dinner, taking my hot girl walk, listening to my sad girl music, reading my feral girl books, going out dancing with my girlianas, getting bevvies with my girlipops, every day a slow march towards death (Womanhood)...
— emma kupor! (@EmmaKupor) July 10, 2023 ">
Best excuse to miss a meeting ever pic.twitter.com/y8xj8af4Yp
— Carly Anne York, Ph.D. (@BiologyCarly) July 10, 2023
Best excuse to miss a meeting ever pic.twitter.com/y8xj8af4Yp
— Carly Anne York, Ph.D. (@BiologyCarly) July 10, 2023 ">
My bed is worth more than my car, just in case you’re curious what my priorities are
— Tada (@krystaunclear) July 13, 2023
My bed is worth more than my car, just in case you’re curious what my priorities are
— Tada (@krystaunclear) July 13, 2023 ">
I have this routine where I make loud yawny sounds and announce I’m going to bed at least 10 times before I actually go to bed. It’s like a cute little pep talk to myself and everyone loves it.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 13, 2023
I have this routine where I make loud yawny sounds and announce I’m going to bed at least 10 times before I actually go to bed. It’s like a cute little pep talk to myself and everyone loves it.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 13, 2023 ">
What if Neapolitan ice cream just dumped strawberry for caramel, no one would be mad at that
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) July 13, 2023
What if Neapolitan ice cream just dumped strawberry for caramel, no one would be mad at that
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) July 13, 2023 ">
If I die and they find my vibrator I'll be more embarrassed about the duct tape
— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝘆𝗸𝗲 (@im_all_id) July 13, 2023
If I die and they find my vibrator I'll be more embarrassed about the duct tape
— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝘆𝗸𝗲 (@im_all_id) July 13, 2023 ">
nobody:
my brain: I transferred from Los Angeles your school has no gymnastics team this is a last resort— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) July 10, 2023
nobody:
my brain: I transferred from Los Angeles your school has no gymnastics team this is a last resort
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) July 10, 2023 ">
my brain: I transferred from Los Angeles your school has no gymnastics team this is a last resort
The Wi-Fi is out so I guess I’ll have to go harvest DVDs from the field the way my grandmother used to do.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) July 10, 2023
