The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Nov. 25 - Dec. 1)

Kelsey Borresen
Updated ·5 min read

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.

Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

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I’m currently trying not to let wearing my new Grinch onesie become my entire personality. It is surprisingly difficult.

— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) November 29, 2023 ">

Jimmy Carter losing his wife and his arch nemesis in the same week is some soap opera season finale shit.

— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) November 30, 2023 ">

i don’t need a recipe for disaster. i usually just eyeball it

— trash jones (@jzux) November 28, 2023 ">

"giddy up jinglehorse pick up your feet" would devastate me

— amelia elizalde (@ameliaelizalde) November 28, 2023 ">

Choose your own adventure but it's a) getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and not getting back to sleep or b) ignoring the urge to get up to use the bathroom and not getting back to sleep

— Pru (@prufrockluvsong) November 27, 2023 ">

Doctors offices be like hi we’ll take you right in the room take your vitals and then leave you in there for 2 hours.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 28, 2023 ">

i couldn’t date someone british they’d be sick of me saying HARRY POH AH every time they spoke.

— gaia (@gaialect) November 28, 2023 ">

sometimes the bravest thing a girl can do is eat what’s in the house when she really wants thai food

— emz! (@blahblahemily) November 28, 2023 ">

Me: I’m going to check my email and then go to bed.

Me, 15 minutes later: *googling how tall was Abe Lincoln*

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 28, 2023 ">

“oh you’re a writer! what are you working on?” my will to live bitch

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) November 30, 2023 ">

God gives his toughest battles* to his strongest soldiers.

*I have to log back into Hulu on my TV

— Myrhhissa 💚🎄❤️💛 (@michimama75) November 30, 2023 ">

The sound of connecting to dial-up internet just emanated from a distant corner of the coworking space.

All the millennials popped their heads up from their computers like a flock of prairie dogs being activated by a long-forgotten ancestral call.

— Sarah McAnulty, Ph.D (@SarahMackAttack) November 27, 2023 ">

having a golden retriever boyfriend sounds like too much work, where do I find a Garfield boyfriend so we can love lasagna and hate Mondays together

— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) November 27, 2023 ">

Spotify’s AI dj be like “alright next up let’s take you back to the lowest point you’ve ever been to your life, some of your favorite artists from your trip to rock bottom”

— samantha (@milkygoddess) November 28, 2023 ">

Not to get political, but what is everyone wearing for Toyotathon this year

— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) December 1, 2023 ">

What I was warned about as a kid:
*Strangers in vans
*Gum taking seven years to digest
*Quicksand

What I wasn't warned about as a kid:
*Arguing with a computer that I’m not a robot
*Being sad when my favorite spatula breaks
*Meeting a “pickleball influencer”

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) November 28, 2023 ">

Accidentally bought unsalted tortilla chips so I might as well just eat this paper plate instead.

— It’s 𝘿𝙖𝙣𝙖, actually (@HourLongSauce) November 28, 2023 ">

If u ever think ur stupid just know that one time a guy asked me what my “attachment style” was and I didn’t know what that meant so I said “PDF if it’s over email I hate when people send it as a word doc”

— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) December 1, 2023 ">

you want me to cite my sources? feminine intuition

— kota (@kotatheartist) November 27, 2023 ">

If you need me, I’ll be over here imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist.

— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) November 28, 2023 ">

my dad just called me and said “i dont know what a vanderplump is” and i am too tired to do this so i just said “thats okay”

— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) November 30, 2023 ">

if you wanna know what being queer is like, tonight I’m going to the opening night of my partner’s ex-partner’s play because we all love each other very much. Love wins

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) November 30, 2023 ">

i do not need to save another lil jar. i do not need to save another lil jar. i do not need to save another lil jar. i do not need to save another lil jar. i do not need to save another lil jar. i do not need to save another lil jar. i do not need to save another lil jar.

— Lane Moore📚 (@hellolanemoore) December 1, 2023 ">

i love googling stuff. imagine not being able to google stuff. i would know next to nothing about the great molasses flood of 1919

— chase (@_chase_____) December 1, 2023 ">

it was a nice idea to put honey in a bear shaped container. Thank u to the dreamers and the inventors

— kimberlee (@kimberleeerose) November 30, 2023 ">

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