Gabrielle Union roasts Dwyane Wade's retirement discoveries: car washes, coupons ... and $20 milk?

Cassandra Negley
Yahoo Sports Contributor
Dwyane Wade is learning about boring life errands, Gabrielle Union said. (Photo by Willy Sanjuan/Invision/AP)

Dwayne Wade is officially retired and the world is, according to his wife, like Disney Land.

Gabrielle Union dished on what Wade is doing after 16 years in the NBA, mostly with the Miami Heat, while on “The Late Late Show with James Corden” on Wednesday night. It seems she was the longtime MVP of the Wade household, taking care of errands and responsibilities that Wade is now discovering for the first time as a 37-year-old.

Corden gave Union a pristine opening for a friendly roast of her husband learning how to do errands in retirement and the actress soared with it.

“He has no idea what’s happening,” Union says.

To recap:

  • Wade is VERY impressed with the offerings at Old Navy

  • The car wash is very exciting

  • Milk is $20 — they better be the very best award-winning cows

  • Coupons, Dwyane!

  • They have five dogs but he’s never taken them to the veterinarian and wants to know if there’s a VIP area.

Wade was drafted in 2003. For a conservative estimate, let’s say he stops doing regular “adulting” stuff in 2004 (when it was simply being responsible rather than “adulting”). That’s the year Blockbuster was at its peak and clothing at Old Navy looked like this.

The retiree obviously knows about Netflix and has discovered, as Union revealed, there’s lots of khaki at Old Navy today in almost any color you want. Overall there are more options at clothing stores and supermarkets, including rows upon rows of various milks.

None of them are $20, though.

In May 2004, retail prices for milk in Miami, Florida, ranged from approximately $2.80 per gallon for skim to $3.10 per gallon for whole milk, per a report by the U.S. Government Accountability Office. The average price today, per the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is $3.93 for whole milk and about 15 cents more to get organic.

“This is a documentary I’d love to watch,” Corden says to close the segment.

You know what? Us too.


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