Gary Brown: Finding out I'm and old fogey
Apparently, I'm older than dirt.
I'm coming to grips with it, after suspecting it for awhile. Now I have proof.
The other day, I stumbled upon a social media posting that challenged me to "Take The Older Than Dirt Quiz." Technically, it said "Older then Dirt," even though we were comparing the relative ages of me and the dirt. It probably should have been "than." I'm surprised at my advanced age I thought to make that distinction.
"Do you remember?" the 17-question quiz asked. Then it listed things from days of the past.
1. Blackjack chewing gum and Teaberry.
I had an uncle who chewed the first gum and an aunt who favored the second brand.
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water.
3. Candy cigarettes.
I used to ride my bike down the street and around the corner to get to a country store that sold penny candy, so, yes, I've bitten off the top of my share of plastic bottles and also pretended to smoke sugar.
Recalling the 'old days'
5. Coffee shops or diners with table-side jukeboxes.
I sat for hours at tables and booth in such establishments with friends, I'd like to say solving world problems, but really we just were talking about sports.
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.
My mom used to hate it if a milkman left the top of the insulated milk box open whenever it was too hot or too cold.
7. Party lines on the telephone.
Ours was a four-party line. We got to be on a first-name basis with the people in other three parties just from the interruptions.
8. Newsreels before the movie.
Personally, I preferred the cartoons that followed them before the feature film.
9. P.F. Flyers.
A connoisseur of sneakers, I was a Converse "Chuck Taylor" All-Stars guy myself, but I'd take some Keds or Red Ball Jets if offered to me, and I am quite familiar with the P.F. Flyer brand.
10. Butch wax.
Do any of us old fogeys NOT have a picture of ourselves as a kid in the kind of crew cut or flat top that butch wax helped hold in place?
A little more evidence
11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show.
When I was home from college during the summers, I fell asleep during the late night talk shows and woke up a little while later to this continual whine telling me it was time to get up and go to bed.
12. Peashooters.
I have a feeling that my targets knew about this toy weapon almost as much as I did.
13. Howdy Doody.
I can sing you the show's song – "It's Howdy Doody Time..." – if you like.
14. 45 RPM records.
A stack of these little records with big holes was my music, in the day.
15. S&H Green Stamps.
Collecting these was mom's hobby, as nearly as I can remember.
16. Hi-fi's.
These were what you bought when you just had a three-speed turntable.
17. Metal ice trays with levers.
They made the ice that chilled my Kool-Aid or Fizzies.
If you're counting, that's perfect score for the old fogey. Even when you consider we're talking about the "good old days," that's still concerning.
Reach Gary at gary.brown.rep@gmail.com. On Twitter: @gbrownREP.
This article originally appeared on The Repository: Gary Brown: Finding out I'm and old fogey
