Gary Brown: More questions about the meaning of life
More random questions about the meaning of life:
If a guest in your house asks to "borrow an envelope," is that person really "borrowing"it, as in one day she will be back with a replacement, explaining "Oh, here's an envelope to make up for the one you loaned me seven years ago, so we're square, right?"
When the answer to the daily Wordle puzzle is "DUMMY," but you don't get it, even after several tries, are you essentially the word?
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Why does the arrival of the next season of whatever series you're streaming on TV seem so important, bearing in mind that these aren't the lives of your family or friends or, to be honest, anybody in the show that you remember from last season?
If your loved one researches air fryers, invests in an air fryer that got a high ranking, then goes ahead and checks out a handful of books from the library with air fryer recipes, and also discusses at length with neighbors – in nearly every telephone or in-person conversation in which she engages – all the dishes she already has made in the air fryer, would a guy, just trying to be supportive, be safe in selling the stove?
A few parenting questions
When you sent your kids off to school this year following the summer vacation, if you smiled or sighed and sat back to have a second cup of coffee, does that make you a bad parent?
Let's say you live on the East Coast, and you're watching forecasts about a hurricane, and the variety of lines predicting the potential paths of the storm branch out across the ocean from your house to somewhere near England, should you worry enough to batten down the hatches to protect your family or should you just tell the kids to tie themselves together if they go outside to play, just in case the wind picks up?
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If you claim you never yell at your kids, the way your parents did at you, but you use upper case letters most of the time you text them, aren't you, like the insurance commercial says, sort of becoming your dad?
If you're playing checkers with one of your loved one's grandsons, and you really concentrate on all the moves, even placing a lot of emphasis on the words "king me," all while telling yourself that you are teaching this young child valuable life lessons from any loses you may inflict upon him, are you really being a mentor or are you just finding an excuse to defeat a 7-year-old?
About life in general
When you're at a movie, and you're sitting among friends, so you can't play favorites, which of the armrests can you claim, left or right, without feeling like a forearm bully?
Why do aliens in movies and TV programs usually look like, well, aliens, instead of like us? Are we the only ones in the universe who don't appear to be odd-looking?
If we can't even decide, for sure, without family debate and possible divorce, whether toilet paper should pull from over or under the roll, or if an upright paper towel dispenser should unroll clockwise or counterclockwise, how on earth can we expect to settle anything about social issues or constitutional rights?
As a writer, should I wonder who decided that English should have both "bear" (the animal) and "bare" (the nude guy) or "flower" (for bouquets) and "flour" (for baking) – or worse yet, "there," "their" and "they're" and "to," "too" and "two" – so I can slap him up the side of the head and ask "why" (as opposed to "wye," the railroad track)?
Would it be better if I was a fictional writer instead of a columnist, so I could create a meaning to life instead of searching for it?
Reach Gary at gary.brown.rep@gmail.com.On Twitter: @gbrownREP.
This article originally appeared on The Alliance Review: Gary Brown: More questions about the meaning of life
