Gary Brown: Reading spam emails with suspicion

You've got to love a spam email that attempts to get you to be stupid enough to answer its solicitation by claiming it was sent to you by a guy whose last name is Mensa.

Pretty bold. It isn't necessary to have a high IQ to know that emails soliciting your banking information are spam.

Of course, using that name could just be an inside joke among the spam people.

"Hey, did you see the email Smitty sent out the other day? He said he was Mr. Mensa. I'm going to say my name is Sir Wiseacre of Brainland today and see if anyone helps me smuggle money out of my kingdom."

Personally, I don't usually look much at the name on my emails, other than to see if it's someone that I recognize. I just figure that if I don't know the sender, and yet the sender almost immediately starts calling me "beloved," I probably should be suspicious.

There are, of course, other clues to be nervous about a spam email. For example, if the sender claims not to know me, and is from somewhere called the Sultanate of Oman, and yet asks to "use this medium to open a mutual communication with you" about entrusting me to invest $27.5 million "US Dollars" − and give me half of it − I probably shouldn't greedily forward my bank account number.

I think if you pressed him, Mr. Mensa would tell you the same.

Inspecting my spam folder

Actually, most of my spam email these days, with increased online security, goes directly to the spam folder in my electronic mail account these days. I rarely see them when they arrive.

Still, for the entertainment value on slow days, every now and then I'll click on my spam folder and read some of the more blatant of the sales pitches or phishing attempts.

"Hello My Beloved One," seemed like a good place to start during my most recent visit. "Please bear with me. I am writing this letter to you with tears and sorrow from my heart."

Another email, greeting me as "my good friend," was from a woman who quickly qualified the depth of our relationship by saying "I want to be your friend and confide in you."

"I have in my possession now 227 KG of Gold Bars, Quality: 23 carat, 95% pure that I inherited from my late mother. I want you to buy or help me to find a buyer who can buy the gold at a better price than the African price so you can help me to invest the money in your country since I have no business idea."

She said she will be, and likely will be for a long time, "waiting for your response."

Assortment of other emails

Another email as me if I could "serve as an intermediary between a Japan-based company and her customers within the North American region." I could, I suppose. But, I won't.

An email from some guy who supposedly works in a foreign bank asked me to "not expose or betray this trust and confidence that (I) am about to repose in you" by asking me to transfer $15 million for 40 percent of the money. Sorry, but I've got better fake offers than that.

I'd like to tell you about yet another email, but it was written in another language. All I know is it ended with words that sounded grateful. "Gracias por su tiempo y consideración."

And a final email that I read most recently just seemed impatient with me and my apparent lack of response.

"Hello. Please did you receive my previous letter? Write me back."

That particular piece of communication, beyond being rudely short and demanding, offers a lesson about one way that you easily can spot spam emails.

On my computer a big red box appears at the top of the most obvious of such emails. Inside is are words of caution.

"This message seems dangerous," the words in the red box warn. "Similar messages were used to steal people's personal information. Avoid clicking links, downloading attachments, or replying with personal information."

Inside the red box is a smaller box, allowing you to click it if you disagree with the security warning and think the spam email "Looks Safe."

Nothing looks safe these days, so I've never clicked on those words. You probably shouldn't, either. Take that as a warning from me and Mr. Mensa.

Reach Gary at gary.brown.rep@gmail.com. On Twitter: @gbrownREP.

This article originally appeared on The Repository: Gary Brown: Reading spam emails with suspicion