What does gaslighting mean? Here's how you can respond to the abusive behavior.
What is gaslighting, and what are gaslighting signs? You may have heard the word, but do you understand what it means? Well, lots of Americans want to know the definition of gaslighting, and that's why Merriam-Webster announced "gaslighting" as the 2022 word of the year. Searches for the word increased 1,740% that year, the dictionary publisher says.
But the term is also frequently misused, and some may be being gaslit but not know when it is happening. What is gaslighting exactly?
What is gaslighting?
According to the Newport Institute, gaslighting is a form of manipulation and abuse where the manipulator attempts to make their victim believe what’s happening to them isn’t actually happening and their reality is untrue.
The Newport Institute offers a few examples of gaslighting:
Lying about or denying something and refusing to admit the lie, even when you show them proof.
Insisting that an event or behavior you witnessed never happened and that you’re remembering it wrong.
Spreading rumors and gossip about you, or telling you that other people are gossiping about you.
Changing the subject or refusing to listen when confronted about a lie or other gaslighting behavior.
Telling you that you’re overreacting when you call them out.
There is also medical gaslighting and relationship gaslighting. Some examples of what gaslighting might sound like, according to Insider.com, include:
Where did the term gaslighting come from?
The Newport Institute says the origin of "gaslighting" is the 1938 play "Angel Street." Alfred Hitchcock eventually turned the play into the 1944 film "Gaslight." The story follows a man convincing his wife she is going crazy so he can steal from her. When he turns on the lights in the attic to look for his wife’s jewels, the gas light downstairs starts to dim. He tells his wife it’s all in her imagination, gaslighting her into believing the lights were not dimming.
Signs of gaslighting
There are many signs of gaslighting. According to Verywellmind.com, they include:
You doubt your feelings of reality.
You question your judgment and perceptions.
You feel vulnerable and insecure.
You feel alone and powerless.
You wonder if you are what they say you are.
You are disappointed in yourself and who you have become.
You feel confused.
You worry that you are too sensitive.
You have a sense of impending doom.
You spend a lot of time apologizing.
You feel inadequate.
You second-guess yourself.
You assume others are disappointed in you.
You wonder what’s wrong with you.
You struggle to make decisions because you distrust yourself.
How to address and respond to gaslighting
Responding to gaslighting can be difficult because it can have mental health consequences, but Healthline offers eight ways to respond properly:
Make sure it’s actually gaslighting.
Take some space from the situation.
Collect evidence.
Speak up about the behavior.
Remain confident in your version of the events.
Focus on self-care.
Involve others.
Seek professional support.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Gaslighting definition: meaning, examples and how to spot the behavior
